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If your wondering why I've given up on love and my life then here's why.

In 5th grade I fell in love. I know some people think that a person as young as I was cant possiblly fall in love. But I did. He was my absolute best freind. We spent every day together. He sat with me at lunch, during class, everything. I never let it show that I loved him but I wished that he did know. We were gonna spend some time together over the summer but we never did. We lost contact over the summer but I thought that we would still be friends the next year. I was wrong. I had turned goth over the summer which he didnt like. He said some thing to me that kinda made me happy but I knew he was joking. He said" Im gonna turn goth like you. I'll dye my hair black, wear black clothes everything like that. That way we can be the same." I knew he was joking but it still made me hope that he didntmind my gothness. He was still my friend at the begining of the year. As the year went on our friendship got even further apart. He eventually didnt really talk to me at all. I got really depressed when he didnt talk to me. I was still in love with him. Over the next summer I had decided that if the person I loved so much didnt care about me then why should I care anymore. I started cuting myself to get rid of the pain he caused me. The worst part is I have never, even to this day not been in love with him. I cant stop thinking about him. It doesnt matter what Im doing he's on my mind.
The next year he faught with one of my best friends to sit with me.