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I can't take it anymore....never in my life have I felt so empty....
I feel like i've lost everything I've worked so hard for to get. I'm living death; physically dying on the inside. My heart is weary and my memory is slowly fading...I can feel my insides shriviling up. Sometimes the only thing I see when I close my eyes is me lying in a pool of my own blood. You don't know what its like waking up in the middle of the night shaking because of a bad dream thats viewing your horrible future so clearly it seems real. And looking around in your room thinking that someone is in there maybe in your closet or underneath your bed waiting to kill you. The thought of someone hating you that much can make anyone become a victim of paranoia....
People want me dead...those that don't even know me are out to set me up...and the ones that do know me no longer want to know me....
I just wish that people could understand the fact that i'm not okay...sometimes I don't think that I ever will be...I'm ******** up. I can't talk to anyone about my problems because no one understands the fact that I'm hurt....and I fear my future tremendously. I ask myself almost everyday what the ******** is still keeping me alive??? My life is going nowhere so why don't I just end it now??? Why can't I just find the courage to put an end to all of my pain, my depression, my tears....sometimes death sounds like the perfect cure for a broken spirit.............
I just want to sleep forever.........
 ll Estrella Brillante ll · Sun Sep 21, 2008 @ 06:07am · 0 Comments |
