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September 2005 is when my life began to fall apart. All the lies and the secrets began to pour out. One by one. I found comfort in crying myself to sleep every night because I had no one to talk to. Sometimes I still feel that way. Like no matter what comes out of my mouth, no matter the depth of sorrow in my voice, I get the same reaction from everyone...is anybody really listening?
It's been a rough 5 years for me. I just wonder are things ever going to be the way they used to be? There was actually a time in my life where I wasn't miserable. I had friends, people who cared about me, people who actually wanted to hang out. It's all different now. Almost as if I'm not good enough or everybody has lost interest in me. Nobody ever invites me anywhere, I don't have a group of friends to hang with. No one wants to spend time or make time for me. All people want to do is bail on me or sit on their asses and watch tv.
I miss the days when I was really happy. When my family and I didn't have to worry about money and when my friends took interest in my hobbies. I've lost so much inspiration it's almost as if I don't care about life anymore. Maybe I don't. I guess I've been invisible to the world for so long I'm losing faith in myself.
I thought my world was complete but for the past month this is how I've felt; like pure s**t. I pray that things will get better.
 ll Estrella Brillante ll · Mon Sep 26, 2011 @ 10:34am · 0 Comments |
