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This is the only place I can go besides in my head where I don't have to deal with the word "everybody". For the moment, this can just be about Star and no one else...
There are moments when I feel like no one understands me. Like everything I say puts a blank look on other peoples faces. It makes me feel alone when others just cut me off right before I can finish what I have to say...Like they know where I'm going, but they really have no clue. Sometimes I feel like people don't even want to hear what I have to say. Which is why I think sometimes I hold back...whats the point in talking if nobody listens? I just haven't met anyone as emotional as me. I probably never will. I wish I could just have a clone...another person just as deep as me. I wonder what we'd talk about...
Then there are moments when I can relate to the world. Where we're all on the exact same page and I don't feel like such an outcast. It can be cool sometimes but to be honest, it bothers me. I don't like being compared to someone else. I don't like to remind anyone of someone else. I like to just be me. As much recognition I get for the things that I do and what I say, in the back of my mind I still feel so unappreciated. Does that make me ungrateful to ask for more? Because I've learned to accept what I have knowing that I will possibly never have more...
I'm not asking to be praised. I'm not God...but I hate those moments where I feel unnoticed...it just hurts that I can't be me without being compared to some other chick, or a tv show or someone elses life. I strive to be different, but since I'm surrounded by creatures of habit and similarity, its damn near impossible >.<
I apologize if this makes anyone feel bad and I'm not trying to sound like I don't appreciate what all my friends and loved ones do for me, but somethings still missing...
 ll Estrella Brillante ll · Mon Jun 28, 2010 @ 05:44am · 0 Comments |
