When first you meet him, he seems like a great guy. Really cool and composed, you know? Decently groomed, sense of humor, and he has a way with words. He seems like one of those "you can't help but like him" kind of guys.
He certainly had me fooled for a good, long time. We met when I was still a child, about first or second grade. His name is Michael. My mother had brought him to the daycare to meet me. I was always a shy child, so it wasn't like I warmed up immediately or anything, but I trusted him. Trusting a guy was a big deal.
He is a songwriter. In fact, he writes, sings, and plays his own songs. Back then, all he had were the songs, his guitar, and his voice. Oh, and a goal to become famous from it all. I truely believed that he would, too. In fact, if he hadn't later changed his music style (and ultimately, his songs) I still think he'd have had a good chance. Real good.
Back then, he lived in the quadruplex just across from ours. I remember that his main room was filled with old school baseball trophies. They littered every surface. So he was good at sports, too, it seemed.
He was too, too perfect.
He and Mother married. She soon learned what it took me much longer to figure out.
The change from a adoration to distaste wasn't a fast one. My first glimpse of the real man came when Mom took us to Grandma's for the night. While waiting for Grandpa to pick us up (as stepdaddy had the car) she showed us the pornographic magazines she found him hiding from her. She absolutely refuses that kind of behavior, and he knew it when he got involved with her. He promised not to. He said that wasn't the kind of guy he was. It made me sick to think he did that... that filthy...
I grew a little older (got into middle school) and got into my anime. Mom never liked it much... too many skimpy ladies. Too many demons. She didn't ban us outright, though. He, on the other hand, seemed to get into it. He'd talk with my sister and I about it and make jokes. Mom and him were divorced, and we would spend the weekends at his place and the weekdays with Mom. That made his place the perfect place to be for our puny selection of television.
Like all children, I became curious one day as to all those "bad" websites I would come across while looking for pictures. However, knowing these were supposed to be evil in some way, I would always back out. Close all the windows, if I had to. I just became curious to what was possibly so bad about them. I was only 13 or 14 at the time.
I knew it was wrong to want to find out about the evil of the human body, so I didn't mention it. At least, to Mom. Dad... well, I remembered that dad had looked into porn before, so maybe he would be able to tell me what was so bad.
Big mistake.
He decided that with my curiosity, I could be "more like him," and so he not only told me that it was really okay, but he stood over my shoulder and "let" me check out a few sites online to see for myself.
It made me so sick that I have never done so again, even today.
What is the worst of that scenario is that I can't really tell anyone... think what they'd say? I don't ever want Mom to know that I looked... I looked at something she finds so disgraceful. I broke her trust more than once before, and she still hasn't totally mended from my biggest lie to her. I dare not add another, so it has been buried with me all this time.
This is only the beginning to what he has done to make me hate him, and only one more of my many mistakes.
(To be cont.)
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Glee... my image seems not to work... emo
月に代わってお仕置きよ。