I've been experiencing A LOT of anxiety lately in regards to being goth due to the heavy ridicule within the subculture from those that want to "gatekeep." It's honestly really ******** disgusting and I don't want to be a part of any of that. It's just more dividing and people are falling for it due to fear of being ridiculed themselves or due to being carelessly passive.
It's to the point where I no longer feel comfortable talking about some goth related things especially when it comes to goth music. I know what I like and I love what I like but if you say one small thing wrong there are those that will flip s**t on you and it's seriously messed up especially for those with mental issues and severe anxiety like myself.
I've been feeling the need to not talk about things related to the goth subculture unless it's with close friends and people that I know wont ever be dicks to me. It's honestly very sad and part of me almost wants to no longer identify as goth because of all this bad stigma. But I wont be doing that because this is a part of me and has been for a very long time and I'm not going to change who I am due to people being ******** up.
I know I shouldn't care what assholes say and their bs should be considered irrelevant and I'm ashamed that I do care and that this effects me so much but I've lived with insecurities and ridicule for most of my life and this s**t is just more that I'm feeling stuck with. It does effect me and it does make me feel insecure and even paranoid. I fear that one day someone will come into my community, will start s**t and will make me feel like a total fool. I nor will Andy stand for that though and any such person would be banned on sight but still, the stress of all this is very real to me and it does effect me. I wish it didn't but I can't control how I feel towards something especially when it involves such a big and relevant part of my own life.
I'm very disgusted at my fellow goths for this kind of behavior and for having these ill mentalities. Most of us have been through a lot of ******** in our lives as it is be it abuse, neglect, ridicule, petty judgement, you name it. You think anyone that has lived through that would know how to be compassionate and understanding. Sure not everyone in the subculture has faced hard times but most of us have as have most people in general. I can't even imagine someone in this world that hasn't. How hard is it to not be a d**k? I just don't get it. None of us deserve this kind of hatred and backlash when all we are doing is trying to enjoy and share what we love. All this really needs to come to an end but I feel that most people just don't even care.
In the past I've trained myself to not care about the petty ridicule of others but I suppose I've gotten a bit softer over the years from stress and from in a way getting so use to having a comfortable living situation where I've gotten so use to so much love, support and understanding that I've become less hardened to all that shouldn't be relevant to me. It just is what it is I suppose and I need to learn how to cope with this better because it is eating at me and is taking it's toll.
Please be kind and understanding to others, not just to those that are in the same subcultures but to anyone in general. No one deserves to be treated like s**t. If someone is wrong about something, kindly and respectfully correct them and don't let yourself seem controlling or condescending. It's just uncalled for. Simply treat people like you want to be treated. I know everyone in my own community already knows this but to all those that don't please take this to heart. The world can be a much better place even with one less person being a d**k and one small act of kindness.
