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Miscellanous Thoughts of Tidus: Elven Prince of the Pipe
where you hear all about the expliots before i'm famous, or a mod ^^
What love feels like.
Lately. More often and not.
And because I also resemble a crawfish because of my sun burn and can't sleep on my back, sides and tummy.
And my whole body ******** hurts.
I have had alot of thinking time.

And so I was thinking about love.
And the feelings that go along with love.

Now. Thier are differn't kinds of love.
I give you that. But here is how I have been breaking it down so far.

Love makes you feel safe.
Like anything could happen. But it wouldn't matter.
Because in that moment, nothing in the world can touch you.

It's like the feeling you get when your a child and you run to your fathers or mothers arms.
Like nothing can hurt you.
They dry your tears, and put you on their shoulders.
Above the world.

I once read or got told something.
I forget. Guess old age is catching up with me.
Lol. Anyways. It went something like this. But dont hold me to it word for word.

Thier is no where safer than your fathers arms.
Warmer than your fathers hugs.
No kiss's softer than your fathers kiss.
And no place higher than your fathers shoulders.


I remember when I was a child.
Which is odd, because I had a very bad childhood and spent most of my life blocking it out.
But yes. I remember some things.
In this moment of rememberance.
I had hurt myself on the gravel driveway, and was running down it as fast as I could.
Bawling my eyes out like any 6 year old would with a cut knee.
Wanting my father.
He came outside and picked me up into his arms and dryed my tears away.
Then took his hankey and whipped the blood away and made it all better.

That feeling right thier.

One that I am sure we all know.
When somone in our lives have made us smile thro our tears.
And whiped the blood from our wounds.

That feeling of compleatness.
Of safety. Of kindness. Of compashion.

That to me is love.

Thats the feeling I feel when I think about love.

The look in the one you loves eye. As you kiss them.
The way they hold your hand. Snuggle close to you in the dead of the night.
Brush the hair back from your forehead. Laugh and cry with you.

That is love.

I once asked "what is the test of love?"

Thier is no test. No fact. No fiction.

Thier is just simply love.

Truly. Deeply. Always.

You never stop loving somone.
Sure. You can fall in love with others.
And in some way or another move on with your life.

But you always think about the what ifs of your life.
You can be happliy married with 2 and a half kids and the white fence.
Or what ever your dream life is.
Be deeply in love with your partner.
Great sex life.
Great life.

But still. In the quite seconds of the morning.
Before your awake. And ready to great the morning.
You will often find your thaughts.
Going back to the ones who have passed.
Now sometimes it will be that your glad you have moved on.
But more often than not.
Their will always be one BIG, what if.
I mean I have mine.
I know for sure I have mine.

I just wounder if she will miss me.
When I'm not here. If she will ever think about me when I'm not thier when she wakes up in the morning. When she's alone during the week.
When I'm not their to hold her when she whimpers at night.
Will she miss me. Will she stop and think for a second.
I really love that girl. I miss her. I miss her smile.
Her laughter. Her kiss. The way she did the stupid things she did.

Perhaps in my life all I am made for is to have what ifs in my life.
Never definatly's.

Right now.
If I I was to be asked.
"Do you love someone?"

I would answer...
"Yes...Hannah."

Why. I dont ******** know.
Because still when I look at her.
My heart hurts with love.
I would do anything for her.
Anything. If she is insulted.
It's not an insult to her.
It's an insult to me.
I am here to protect her. To be her sword and sheild.

I am safe. Secure. I am home.

"Yes...Hannah...I love you. No words. No feelings. No pain. Will ever stop that."

I love without reason. Without need. I dunno why I love hannah the way I do.

I mean. It's not like I dont find other people attractive. Cuz I do. I admit that.
It's not like I dont have feelings of affection for others ether. Because I also do.

But still I have an undieing love for her.

Weird how life works like that.
How love works like that.

We can't choose when we fall in love. Or even with who. We just love.

With our hearts. Our minds. Our bodys.

Scared. Bleeding. Broken. Bleeding. Broken. Scared.

We love.

Forever and Always.

Such is life.

I hate love.
Because I hate to love.

I love Hannah.

That I know.
What I dont know.
Is if she loves me.
But. I will know soon.

Because. As many times as you have to ask.
It always just takes one yes.
To melt away all those no's.

Alright. It's 1am.
I have put some aloe vera on my shoulder burns.
And I guess it is time to try for the thing they call sleep.
Even tho the pain in my shoulders is keeping me from it.

Love who you love people.
When you love. Love deep and true.
Never ever forget the ones you love.
And sure as hell. They will never forget you.

Peace.
Venus.





 
 
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