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i ended up hurting my best friend and the one i love today, my god i felt like my heart was breaking, to hear her voice like that, to know that i caused that pain, god i wished i had died right then and thier, i am so stupid sometimes, i don't realise what i'm doing sometimes, and i blow it, i have always had a fear of love, since i was hurt as a child i had problems trusting people, hay even when i got out of the hell hole of my fathers place, i wouldn't let my mum hug me for 2 years, i finaly found someone that i love with all my heart and i end up hurting them, i am so foolish, and now i fear that i will once again be stuck with no-one to love me, alone and cold in that black room with no light switch, until i found her...she opened the door, and i saw the light in her, and she saw it in me, where no-one else had, god i love you so much, and i just hope this time, that i havn't blowen it, because i am nothing without her, she compleats my circle, in more than one way, she is the wind in the trees, and the temple on the earth, "let me worship at her temple and kiss the face of god"