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-sighs softly- today has not been a good day...i didn't get to see him...Agaian! well....speeking of John, i have somthing planed out but i don't know if it will work or not. I want to get him a Devil's Tail..but it cost like 600,000 x.x.but i'm willing to sell everything i have to reach 48k and save up from there.....i want to give this to him for a X-mass gift...but i'm scared it wont work out and i'll never get it for him...and some stuff in my inventory i want to keep cos he gave them to me....and mean alot to me.. i'm scared cos what if i don't get the gold and end up not having anything?what if i never find someone to sell it to me if i do get the gold.......... what would he want me to do?...-thinks more on it- i'll get back on that...but not only do i worry about that, i worry about alli....shes not holding up to good about the Nick thing....i feel for her...i love her like my own sister....i don't want her do feel pain like i did befor John...-sighs- i'm so glad i'm with him...i hope i never lose him....-tear falls from her cheek at the thought of it- sad heart heart heart