The other day I realized that legitly, red flags are indeed made up of other red flags. What does this mean though? When a person has a red flag, they are likely to have others. Take for example someone being into something gross. Gross goes hand in hand with gross so they're likely going to be into other and similar obscene things. Another example is when someone has a toxic belief system with hateful views. They're going to have more than one because that's just how it works. Negative goes hand in hand with negative, stupidity with stupidity, hate with hate and so on.
Now what should we do when we notice such things? For one, always and I mean always trust your intuition. If something feels weird or off with someone, it's your intuition warning you. It's a feeling in the gut and can feel like you being randomly annoyed with them for no reason. It's not no reason though, that's your intuition.
An example of mine that I had recently that I unfortunately ignored was when I saw the sig pic of a user who was recently outed for literally the worst things, outed himself in fact but we will get on that later. Anyways, what I felt when I saw that pic was what people call "ick". I had a weird, gross feeling about him. I ignored this small feeling though and later was disturbed when the truth came out. I've also done this in the past as well and it's lead to some pretty devastating outcomes.
Some more examples of what I've felt intuitively in the past that I unfortunately ignored.
- Felt randomly annoyed by someone when ever he msged me. He turned out to be a perverted, psychotic stalker and harasser. This was one of the most extreme cases.
- Felt put off by a person when I was suppose to make art for them and it turned out terrible. They turned out to be an incel who committed SA. Another of the most extreme cases unfortunately.
Needless to say, we must listen to these small feelings we get no matter how small they may feel. We have these feelings and intuition as a part of our survival and they only evolve over time as we grow and experience more. I'm currently pushing 40 and I've experienced so much in my life to the point where I usually get a pretty good read on someone near instantly and am rarely ever wrong. Not to boast but it's honestly very important and I'm thankful I/we have these abilities.
I always aim to keep safe spaces for not only myself but for my communities over all. It is a lot of hard and tiring work sometimes but I'm happy to do it to maintain safe spaces. Currently I'm incredibly burnt out which how much it's been lately due to so much current drama and harassers. I get through it though and it's very rewarding to help the good people around here. I will always do what I can to keep things this way as well and I'm incredibly grateful to all the wonderful people that work with me and are a part of my community.
Now on to my phrase that I so often say, 'the trash takes itself out.'
This is 100% as the unhinged can't resist being unhinged and they are proud of it. Example, someone petty who likes to drama instigate will brag about that and that of being blocked etc. It practically can't be helped. -o- Fret not though friends, this s**t show is actually a good thing, it's them doing us all a service by revealing dem stink lines.
The dangerous ones are those that actually know how and intend to hide it. Examples, a certain pred who no one suspected as such that was outed earlier this year. I too was briefly friends with them and sensed little to nothing off about them nor did anyone else and we were all incredibly shocked and disturbed.
Another terrible example was the pred I grew up with. It acted all sweet and nice to everyone and had everyone fooled but behind closed doors it was a terrible child abuser. Sick ******** s**t that scarred us for life. Though with individuals like that, some can still see through their fake bs.
The point is though that some know how to hide it and it can be harder to sense things. Again, listen to your intuition and it usually wont fail you. Also listen to what those around have to say about it. If someone claims they're being blocked or banned for no reason or 'all their friends leave them' it means something is very wrong with them. Another fine example of the trash outing itself.
In closing I'd like to say, if you have issues with anyone, feel free to reach out to me as I tend to keep a close eye on things myself as I like to protect my community and will work with the mods on sorting through the rift raft.
Stay safe and stick with your communities, those you know you can trust and that don't have ANY red flags. When someone shows even one, it's time to take into consideration some sort of action. If you stick to trash, you're going to end up surrounded only by it and are among them in the long run. Do better for yourselves and communities. Take care and thank you for reading.
