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Rage is blinding, as they say, and i thought i felt anger before, i thought i was merely going back to who i once was, but instead i am worse than ever, even the slightest memory of what i lost causes a pain inside me beyond anything, and the only way to suppress the mental pain is through physical pain, my sides are bruised from hitting myself to subside them, i often wonder if it helps at all, after all, i can't do these things in public, which is when the anger comes the most, all i can do is hate myself and pretend to be happy, i am losing everything i once held dear to me, and my greatest memories have become nothing more than pain and loss, in the end, the beast is gone, but an empty shell remains, memories of who i am, and of who i once was, who i was then, who i wanted to be, all of them are connected to each other, but no longer are they connected to me, my dream is to become a writer, but i can no longer write, my goal is to give it my all, but i cannot even give it half of my energy, my life has lost it's meaning and every time i try to find a new one, i find myself back where i began,

Rage is blinding,
Hearts are binding
All that's left is loss