eh, no idea why i'm writing this one, just bored i guess... Life's been hell all my life, but i've always had a friend to fall back on... until this year. During the year, i acted like a real a*****e, not because i was angry, but because i had no one to help me out of it. I would talk of how material possesions meant so much to me before, but they really didn't. I would have given it all for one person. A person who has always been there for me... a year without her left me broken. I turned to things i had thrown away, items i had given up on, in an attempt to try to find something similar. My new love for Yugioh... started because of a card she once gave me. She never really like it, but it meant a lot to me. I've yet to construct a deck matching it however. My carefree and random attitude... the way i was when with her. I threw aside my demons that i had become because she once refused to talk to me for six months due to it. My need to make sure no one ever insults my friends or hurts them... because i failed to protect her, and i will never let that happen again. Truthfully, i've always said i don't care what people think about me, but i've changed everything for her, hell, the reason i grew my hair out was because she liked it. I started watching anime because she liked it... i even went to calmer music because she knew that music better. Don't tell me i'm just being an idiot, because this wasn't something i had planned on doing, it's just... something that happened that i'm just now realizing. I would give anything for her. After all, most of the things i enjoy, i do so to replace the loss of her. call me weak, call me corny, call me a frikkin hopeless romantic for all it's god be damned worth. But this is who i am, and it's never gonna change. She brought back a side of me that i had thought to be nothing but a memory. She freed me from a cage of my own construction. For years, i had blamed the world, believing them to be at fault, people have told me of the wall i have around me, but the walls been down for quite a while. The only thing up now is an aura of... confusion. She's gone for now, and as much as it hurts, she's freed me from myself and allowed me to be truly happy. Anyways, point of this all, i felt like s**t for years, saying i would never let myself change, and yet... i've changed more than most people i know. Eh... if i don't end it now, this'll never end, i'm outta here
Cursed the title, blessed the name
Failure in life, succeed in one's dream
stronger than most, weaker than all
Tis merely one's vision
that holds strong to all
In one's eyes lie the great
In others, weakest of all.
A thoughtless decision
A deathly dark call
Cursed through life, blessed through love
Tis in the hearts eye's
that one's fate decides
Tis not one's true choice
One lives or one dies
For in this world cursed
The demon holds pride
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