Ok it all begin along time ago like 7 months ago when I met one of the most loving, wonderful, and most awesomeness girlfriend I ever had. She was everything I wanted in a girl and I have love her so much cause she made feel something I never feel before. I have never felt so happy for her. We got along so well and we would talk everyday and talk about how much we love each other and all kind of things that made me so happy. I have found the perfect girl I though and I though we would be together forever cause we have been together for a long time. But then she broke up with me cause she have found someone else in her life and I felt so sad and I wanted to kill myself cause she was my dream girl and I love her so much even more then she has ever love me I bet. I have been sad for a very long time and I wanted to tell her how her breaking up hurt me but I didn't have the courage to do cause I would think she would hate me . I tried telling this one guy I know how I feel but he wasn't much help cause no matter what I tell him he wouldn't understand how I was feeling and would be a d**k to me. No one understands how I feel and it's cause of that I started to cut myself again .
But then I learn that you have to move on and that there will be other girls waiting for me. But as time move on I've felt kind of better cause then we became such great friends and we both move on and I was happy for a while. But I was really hiding my feelings away from everyone cause I still love her and I couldn't get her out of my mind cause she was the best Gf I ever had and I wanted to get back together with her cause I love her so much . I always wanted to tell her how I really feel about her but I was scared to tell her cause I would think she wouldn't accept my love again and that I didn't want to lose her friendship. Cause if I did I would never be happy again .
So yeah while I tried to be happy in front of her and in front of my friends and her friends I was really sad. Sure I have other Gf but they could never replace the girl that I have truly loved more then anything in the world. So yeah we still talk to each other and we were very close friends but I was feeling jelious cause of her and her ex-bf it made me feel such rage and sadness I have never felt before .
So yeah I didn't want to show how I feel to people cause they would then call me names like p***y and b***h and other mean stuff and if I show her how I feel then she would either get mad or sad at me *My life is a sad story *
But I would still appear happy cause I want everyone around me to be happy cause all that matters to me are my friends, family and the girl I will always love till the end of time. So yeah I was really sad when I hear about all the things she and her ex did together cause I love her and it made me jelious when I'm not with her. I keep telling myself to move on but I can't cause it hurts so much when I try to . *The reason why there are so many crying smilies is cause that I am really depressed right now and I want to die so much*
So yeah fast foward to a few months later like right about this January and she and her bf broke up. It made me sad cause she was really sad when that happen and I understand how she feels cause she remind me of well me when she was that sad. I confort her by telling her there will be other guys for her and that worked and it made me happy cause I made her happy and that's all that matters to me cause I would do everything for her and to get her to love me again. So then I decided to try to get back together with her cause she was single again and it was the perfect time to tell her how I feel. So I told the guy I mention eariler about what I planned to do but then he got pissed at me cause he's overprotective of her and he says that I will hurt her if I got back together with her .
Now it was at this time I began to cut myself again cause if I tried to get back together with her he would hurt me and do all these kinds of bad things to me. Well not really but he'll do everything he can for me to not hurt her. Now if only he would understand cause I would never hurt her cause I have never hurt anyone in my life before and if I ever hurt anyone then I would be all sad and emo again . Which has happen alot to me cause I am a very emotional person and I hate seeing people get hurt and I'll do everything to make them happy again. He doesn't understand that and he sees me as a bad guy though all of my friends will tell you that I'm one of the nicest guys in the whole world.
I am now stuck in a problem I have never been before cause I wanted to tell her how much I love her but if I did the he would hurt me and I don't want anything to happen again and this is where we go to now. I am still stuck in this problem cause I would do everything for her, I would live and die for her, she is my everything but if I tell her all of my feelings for her then something bad will happen to me and even worst I thought that if I tell her how I feel she would deny my love for her and I would feel so depressed and sad and I would cut myself cause I want her to accept my love for her cause I love her so much . So I though to myself I have to do what's best for me and I'm still thinking about that today.
Not only that but I feel like we are drifting apart cause I see her flirting with other guys and that makes me feel so depressed and sad and *Cries again*
Oh man this is hurting so much but I'm still going on anyways cause I need to get my feelings out of the way.
Well with her flirting with other guy I felt like were drifting apart cause she would talk about things we used to talk about when we were together and when we were best friends. It makes me think she doesn't care about me anymore and it made me feel like I'm nothing to her anymore. So yeah I though to myself that all the things we talk about didn't matter anymore to her cause she would talk about things we used to with other guys and it made me feel unimportant and other stuff like that *Cries again*
So yeah that's how I am feeling right now and now that I got everything out of the way I feel like killing myself cause I don't matter to no one anymore. No one cares about me and no matter how much I try to get this one girl to love me she just seems like she doesn't care about me anymore and not only that but I'm scared what would happen to me if I feel her my feelings about her
*This is how I feel right now*
Community Member
Dude, don't even talk about killing yourself...There will always be other girls...I know you've heard that many times before but it's true, and whats that bs saying no one cares for you, I'm sure a lot of people care for you.