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[RANT]
Eh... I haven't been feeling like "myself" lately (about..*thinks* 2 months). I don't know why. I feel like I'm dead or something. Like an empty shell. It's like I don't feel anything (mentally) anymore. That or I have an emotional wall that I don't even notice. Example: last week my mom was yelling at me for staying up too late on a school night and for accidentally killing one of her orchids. I didn't say or feel bad about anything. Psh.. Like I care. Orchids are just plants. I personally don't think there's anything special about them.

A couple months ago [yeah..kinda far back, huh?], she told me that I was just being a waste of money because she didn't see me doing homework at home or reading books. And she doesn't believe that I'm doing my homework. She doesn't even say "I'm proud of you" or "Good job" whenever I get my report cards [[usually A's]]. Well it's not my fault that I would rather do homework at school than at home, or that there aren't any interesting books in the house that I haven't read, or the fact that my mom doesn't like buying books because she believes they're a waste of money, OR the other fact that the library closest to our house is being renovated, OR the other other fact that most times I'm too lazy to go to the library or no one has the time when I want to go.
Sometimes she tells me to just go to the crappiest high schools ever. And sometimes it hurts when she says that. It's like she thinks that I'm not smart enough to make it into a decent high school.

[[Back to the main subject]] Seriously..I feel "dead". Everyday has it's same routines. It's boring me to death.. I dunno why I even get up in the morning. There's nothing new. Nothing exciting. And I know that you think that I should try something new or do something about it. I know I'm complaining and being pessimistic. And there is absolutely nothing to look forward to except for: 1. Jen and/or Sara and Chris or anyone else visiting, 2. Shadowing high schools, 3. Art with Mrs. Shin, and 4. Winter and summer vacation. The only things I enjoy doing are art with Mrs. Shin and ranting in my journal entries on Gaia.
[/RANT]