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Confrontation
The teacher looked to Max and calmly told him to take a seat. Max took a moment and scanned the room. This year's class was completely full and there was only one seat left that he could possibly take; the one in front of me. Could my day get any worse? Just the fact that I ran into him this morning was enough to ruin my day, but now I had to be in the same class with him for an entire year. I was still having so many mixed feelings about seeing him. He hurt me in the past, but for some reason I was desperate to go back to when we were best friends. I did miss his company more than anything.
As Max started to walk towards his seat, I could feel my face fill with sadness and anger. I tried to look away but happened to glance up to his face. Of course he just smiled at me as he took his seat, and I found myself blushing slightly. He still had that same sweet smile. Once Max was seated the teacher could finally start class. I was ready for anything that would take my mind away from my own personal thoughts.
“Ok class. For the first project of the year. I want you all to draw me something that expresses who you are, how you are feeling at this current moment, or anything that really deals with your inner self. Not too hard I would say. I want you to do the best you can on this piece so I can assess where this class is as a whole when it comes to art. So you may begin if you like or converse with your fellow classmates. It is up to you how you want to spend your class time. Trust me, your grades will reveal how serious you are about this class.” The teacher ended with a serious tone in his voice and then took his seat at the front of the classroom. This project was definitely what I needed in order to relieve some tension from this morning.
“Psst. Allison.” I heard a voice come from in front of me. As I looked up I could see Max staring back at me. I sighed in frustration.
“What do you want. I'm kind of in the middle of doing the assignment.” I spoke, trying not to reveal the emotions that I had pent up for so long.
“Well I just wanted to catch up with you, since we didn't really get a chance earlier this morning,” he smirked.
“Why would you want to even do that Max?” I couldn't hold in my questions any longer and I knew my face was breaking into a pout.
Max looked at me with much confusion. “Well we were friends at one point. I thought it might be nice to catch up with you.”
“Please can we do this some other time. I really just want to work on the project,” I replied sternly.
“Uh ya we can catch up later I guess.” He finally turned away after taking a moment to look at me.
I sighed once again and continued on with the drawing that I had started. I decided to draw an angel for the main focus. I wanted her to be a black and white image in the middle of a colorful world. An outcast, yet an image of beauty. In my mind thats how I pictured myself. I never gave in to the concept that my outward appearance made me look like a monster or an alien. To me, I was just as pretty as any of the other girls, but with my own uniqueness. Weren't we all different on the outside anyways, yet all similar as well? By the time the next bell rang, I had only finished the outlines, but I was still satisfied.
“Allison what class do you have next,” came the voice of the girl that happened to sit next to me.
I looked at her after glancing at my schedule. “Science is next for me. With Mr. McNeal as the teacher.”
“Oh I'm in the same class. Do you want to walk together?” At that question I almost wanted to ask her what was wrong with her. No one had ever really openly been nice to me or rather acknowledged my presence; besides Max.
“Um, sure. Marissa was it?” I tried to hide how nervous I was.
“Yes, you remembered right. Come on let's go or we will be late.” With that she took my hand, practically dragging me from the room.
I was completely lost for words when it came to Marissa. She seemed genuinely nice and I even allowed myself to hope that this girl could in fact turn into a new friend. With the speed she took in the hallway we soon arrived to our next class. We both decided to sit at the same lab table, but I was not surprised that everyone else that walked in seemed to avoid the other two seats across from us. I almost wanted to tell Marissa to not be so nice to me or she would never make any friends; since I was a curse in that department. As the other tables soon filled up, a couple of guys were forced to sit across from us and I knew exactly who they were too. It was Will and Ryan, the two guy friends that Max had. I wondered if they had flunked science the past couple of years since they were suppose to be two years ahead of everyone.
“Well look who we have here Ryan.” Will sneered as he elbowed his friend to get his attention away from a couple of girls he was making eyes at.
“What do you want?” Ryan said with a tone of annoyance at the interruption.
Will continued on. “It's the freak show girl. Remember? The girl Max was always hanging out with until he met us. I never knew why he was friends with you anyways,” he said as he smirked at me.
“Oh ya I remember. He was dancing with her at camp. He was such a pansy back then. So glad he wised up and ditched you,” Ryan laughed.
“Quiet class. I need to take attendance to make sure everyone is in the right class. So hush up for a bit.” The teacher attempted to quiet the class. Thankfully it couldn't come at a better time. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes at their snide comments. I didn't want to relive that moment and they just had to bring it up. Looking away I tried to imagine some sort of happy thought to try and subside the tears. I could not let myself cry in front of them. It would just give them another reason to tease me. Once the teacher finished the attendance, I was finally calmed enough to at least look to the board and ignore the two goons across from me.
Ryan and Will proceeded to ignore Marissa and me for the remainder of the class. They were too busy trying to pick up a couple of girls at the next table over. They had not changed at all. I even wondered if Max was still friends with them, and if he was, how could he. Max didn't seem at all like them in any way. The Max I knew was kind and stood up to the bullies, but I guess people change.
Luckily the rest of the day was uneventful. Marissa ended up also having english with me and we even had the same lunch hour. At lunch we finally got to talk with each other and get to know one another a little bit. Marissa had just moved to town from Australia. Her parents were doing some sort of research over there on wildlife and decided it was time for Marissa to get some real schooling. So they decided to send her to live with her grandmother during the school year. She had a lot of interesting stories and I really think she will be helpful in english cause she likes to write. It was nice to actually get to know someone and I really think we hit it off well. Meeting Marissa made the day seem not as bad.
When the final bell rang, I was so happy to get out of history. I swear I was about to fall asleep. In most of the classes we really didn't start lecture, but that was not the case for history class. Once the bell finished ringing the entire class had flooded out of the room as if trying to run away from a plague. I was the last to exit as usual and made my way back to my locker. What I wanted most was to put this day behind me and just relax in a nice bubble bath at home. Luck was not on my side for Max was at my locker, waiting.
“Hey princess. I thought we could talk,” he said with his usual smile.
I was floored. I could not believe he called me princess. He had no right to use that nickname with me anymore. Never again. “What is there to talk about?” I replied, trying not to go off on him.
“Well we could start with, what is your problem?” His annoyance with my current attitude was definitely evident in his voice.
“My problem? I don't have a problem. I am not the one that decided to just all of a sudden not hang out with their best friend.” I finally said it. The burning statement that has been on the tip of my tongue ever since I saw him this morning.
His look confused me. He almost looked hurt by what I had said. What reason does he have to look that way? He remained silent which left me to fill in the empty space.
I couldn't hold back anymore and completely lost it. “Seriously Max. We have not spoken to each other in two years. Why this sudden act of kindness? Unless you feel pity for me. Is that it? Why don't you go hang with that girl from this morning. You both seemed rather close.” I looked away. I couldn't believe I went off like that. It wasn't like me at all. I felt embarrassed, angry, yet there was some sense of relief from finally lashing out at him.
I happened to glance up at him for a brief moment and he looked rather angered by what I had said.
“That girl is my girlfriend. Cecilia. You might remember her. Anyways, I guess we really don't have anything to say to each other.” With that Max walked away.
I stared at him as he left. I didn't know what to think. He couldn't even admit to how he acted in the past. Did he really think after two years it would all be ok? I slammed open my locker and hid my face. I was on the brink of tears for the second time today and soon I would not be able to hold them back any longer. Grabbing my assignments, I hurried outside to wait for my mom. When I saw her car, I could feel myself finally calm down, because I knew that I was finally going home. Home, where life was halfway enjoyable.
“How was your first day angel?” My mom asked as I closed the door after getting in.
“I really don't want to talk about it, ok?” I snapped.
“Alright,”my mother replied as she drove us both home.
When we arrived at home, I hurried upstairs to hide away in my room. I really didn't want to be asked a bunch of questions about how the day went and what was wrong. I crashed on my bed, allowing the tears to fall. Quickly I tried to search for some tissues, but when I opened my bedside table drawer, I found something else. It was the shell necklace that Max had made for me at camp. I had totally forgotten that I still kept it. I picked it up and held it in my palm. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with even more emotions. Gripping it to my chest, I fell back in bed and quietly cried myself to sleep.
 eimichan · Fri Aug 24, 2007 @ 12:53am · 0 Comments |
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