|
|
|
Dear Journal,
Here are some funny things to say that involves driving:
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
Don't drink and drive-- you might spill your drink"
If you dont like the way I drive, get off the ******** sidewalk!
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
"The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus"
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Drunk!...naught me - I'm Serfectly Pober Occifer!
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
I break for...OH s**t NO BRAKES
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
And here are some famous last words:
No these windows are ok to lean on.
Don’t worry it has airbags.
Don’t worry its not that deep.
No, he doesn’t bite.
Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.
My brakes are fine.
It's fireproof.
What does this button do?
So, you're a cannibal?
Are you sure the power is off?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
I've seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make this light before it changes
I can do that with my eyes closed
look ma! no hands!
Oops.
Don't worry, it's not contagious.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Of course it's safe!
Never say this to a cop:
"I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer." (OK in Texas)
"Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."
"Aren't you the guy from the Village People?"
"Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!"
"I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer."
"You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"
"I pay your salary!"
"Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!"
"Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does."
"I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I now there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are."
When the Officer says"Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Lol! So freaking funny!!
 Aquaspirit77 · Sun Aug 19, 2007 @ 10:24pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
