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Dear Journal,
uh.....*nervous laughter* Sorry I've been gone for a million years... sweatdrop
I'll make it up to you.. I found these REALLY funny sayings! They crack me up every freakin' time!! :
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.
Lifes Tough, get a helmet!
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
Smile. It confuses people
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say "Make your own damn lemonade!"
People say I'm crazy, actually I'm just bored
A considerate person will help you up when you fall. Your best friend will laugh and trip your a** again.
Im like a boomerang, you can throw me but ill just come back and beat your a**!
Ahh being high. That time between being depressed and finding out that you're in jail being nailed in the a** by a guy named Bubba.
If at first you dont succeed then skydiving isnt for you.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. 43 percent of all statistics are worthless.
Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Normal people worry me
you say physco like it's a bad thing
"I'm going to live life or die trying"
If you die, I'll kill you!"
There are some days when I just don't feel like talking.. Today is that day.
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
"Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"
Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.
Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer J. Simpson.
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown
"I'll kill you until you die!"
"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!
My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!.
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there?
" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education.
Funny stuff, huh? Lol!!
Well, see ya later!
 Aquaspirit77 · Sun Aug 19, 2007 @ 10:18pm · 0 Comments |
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