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I don't know what it is but i am hitting a hard time right now.

I'm really stressed trying to get my grades up before the end of the year....
I'm really depressed because of so many things. I haven't gotten word from Dave in 2 days now....which i know doesn't seem like a long time, but it is bad timing. Because its been about a week since i last saw him, and it seems like about this time i get really depressed and start missing him. >.< but this time he isn't even here for me to talk to.

And i am getting so confused about him. My emotions for him are changing, and its confusing me greatly. I still love him, and i am hesitant to tell him about how i am feeling and about being confused...because i don't want him to think that i am going to leave. Because i won't. i think...due to some things that have happened between us...whether we know it or not, i think our relationship has changed.

Its...weird and i can't quite place it. I can't stop thinking, trying to put my finger on it. Its almost like....last time i saw him...it stirred up my emotions like when you splash in a mud puddle. It stirrs up all this dirt and makes the water foggy. So now i am just waiting for everything to settle and be normal again.

*goes off to embrace my depression in hopes of inspiration*

Maybe being so down will help me find some inspiration of something to draw....because i am in a serious artistic slump too. I think that is the most depressing thing of all.

I haven't created anything that i have been really proud of recently....and it seems like whenever i do make something decent.....its like a match to a Bonfire when i look at some of the other things people have made. Or when i make something i really love and am proud of....no one else seems to praise it and then it makes me feel like it is worthless.....