Hmm... not many people do check this out, or leave comments, come to think of it.
Which is why I thought of spilling my guts here, but...
...anyone who has any scrap of logical greymatter would be thinking, "Gee, Brin, even if no one checks this out often, if you want to keep something even semi-concealed, why put it on the net in the first place? Anyone who wanted to could just come on and look at it, you d**k!"
Yes, I know. I fully realise that if I speak in detail about this festering warmth in my chest and someone I knew read it, I'd be finished. Yet even though I know that, I am tempted to do so... to save my sanity, if nothing else... just to break this terrible silence on the feild of landmines on which I so pathetically dance.
And maybe I am just like all the others... I do want this to be read and understood.. so that maybe this will come to some sort of end.
Will I? Won't I? What'll I do?? Ohh, so indicisive... Which is precisely the problem.
Nah, the problem is I can't leave anything alone. When I feel something, I have to over-examine it to death until it consumes me. I thought that I was fine, and I was removed from the situation for a while... but then certain events transpired and I knew for sure it wasn't over. I was not in control of my emotions.
Perhaps I should take back control of the situation...
I started this whole katamari of doom a-rollin'... and I suppose that I should be the one to place a giant squid in the way to halt it's motion.
