Watching Love Actually for the first time, and an interesting time for it too...being after talking to this boy who I may actually begin to think is the love of my life if things don't start going downhill soon. And it makes me think about the idea of love, and the idea of actually finding that love of your life.
He is, to put it simply, a Prince. I have met no other like him, no more modest no more dear and sincere...no more that care about my feelings and genuinely love me and care about me and want me to be okay than him. I'd trust him with all my deepest fears, and even the one thing I have never told anyone in my entire life. The one thing I'd be too scared to. I'd trust him. I don't know yet if he could handle it...but I would trust him.
If there is anyone in my life, and I have fallen in love before, that could be the love of my life, it would be him. Of all things I want him to be happy. But the more I talk to him the more I wish I could be the one to take care of him...the more I wish I could be the one to banish his anxieties and his fears, and to make it all okay again. And of all things, of all people to take care of me...I would be okay with him doing so.
It's hard for me too...to let someone take care of me. But for him I would...it would be scary still. Well not scary in the sense that it would be frightening, but scary in the sense that it would be difficult. Difficult letting someone in enough to be able to let him hold me and cry. All the time now I cry alone. I hug my pillow and I wish he could be next to me, the one I was hugging rather than my pink pillow.
He would remember everything, my birthday, if at all anniversarys...anniversarys...he once contemplated cutting up orchids and making a bouquet from them because they're my favorite. I love his sense of romance, because it is so wonderful and so sweet that I can't describe it. And I have fallen in love with his heart, and not his face. Although he does have a wonderful face...and he is just enough taller than me, not towering so...just enough that I don't think I would have to lean too far on my toes to kiss him. And that when I would lean against him I would fit perfectly into his arms...as it should be.
As it should be.
animepurinsesu · Sat Apr 07, 2007 @ 06:42am · 0 Comments |