H E R L I F E
BY CHU NYAN
JAN . 13 . 2007
BY CHU NYAN
JAN . 13 . 2007
Mero laid there in the darkness, her eyes filled with tears. Her arm on her eyes, covering them, hoping to not see the light. Her body was stiff as it trembled. Her hands in a fist, wishing she did not exist in the world. 'Run away,' She would tell herself, 'It's the best thing to do if you don't want to see anyone get hurt...' Her heart ached from the pain she recived, her sister's torture, her life near the end. She has given up on herself, knowing people won't accept her for who she really is. A girl who can be called lazy, a girl who likes thinking her own way, a girl who's a coward.
The pain of the moment and every other moments stinged her mind, it stabbed into her memories and into her words. She would stand behind the door, both hands covering her face, wishing everything would stop it's movements. Her fist would bang against the wall and the door, her body weakly fall onto the ground. 'Coward...' She'd call herself, hoping she could die early, 'All I do is run... so why should I even live? This thing we call life is just a punishment, wings won't grow from our backs and let us fly. We end up drowning...'
Her smile weakens everytime she makes a friend. 'They don't accept me for who I am, only who they can make me become. Those people we call friends leave after they get what they want. It's best to just die, and let your soul live alone in misery,' Her tears stains her sorrow, and worsen it, leaving scars on her body. Each time she cries the scars deepen, killing her inner self, making her loose those who she once loved. Her emotions pour out of her, her mind sealing them up, 'There is no point on being happy or even scared. Just leave those aside and show only hatered and gloominess. We all will die, so leave them there, carrying only what you belive.'
WRITER'S COMMENTS: I guess I like this... It shows my life, but not fully. Mero is also the name of my pixie, but here, she's actually me. Normally, I'd only right happy things or fantasy stories...But recently, my mind has been cut off those lines and has been focusing on what I've been feeling.
I actually do wish this whole place including the universe never exsisted, and no one would feel how I feel. I know I'm very selfish, just thinking about myself... But to me... I feel like I'm also thinking for you. Hatred always seem to spring up from everywhere I go and most of my real life friends would leave me after they turn me into something else...Something else they want me to become.
When I wrote this, I didn't feel anything...But when I began reading it, I somewhat cried. Looking at myself through that kind of image does make me sad. But you don't need to cry...or even feel sorry for me. I'm used to it...Hope you enjoy this (I think...That's what I'm suppose to say.).
