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Well it started out with just a quote I read from a friend's msn, but it went deeper and I've been thinking:

"Death is just a heartbeat away..." it read. So I thought, what if I can become detached from all that ties me to the joy of living? What would I be then? True, I would still be human, but that's only appearances isn't it?

Isn't there something inside that we can judge to ascertain whether we are still human? And what do people mean when they say 'she has not a shred of humanity'? Do they really understand what they mean by that? What is it that they mean? Is there even someone who can give me an answer I feel is fulfilling? Merely saying, 'living' is not enough to satisfy. A flower 'lives', yet it does not define humanity.

So to distract myself I thought of this:

If one understands that life is not infinite, and ends forever loom, then loss is never a pain which we will ever feel. But without this feeling of emptiness can we feel happiness? Perhaps.

The more I think, the less I am certain that I know anything and that anything I learn is true. Is there a meaning to our existence? Is it just some being who is playing a cruel prank on us all?

The only thing I know is that I do not understand at all...and that ends are forgiving.


But a cowards way out.