Ack, shall we start with my moaning and groaning again? I think you'll need to cover your ears because I've been pretty uncontrollably angry recently. Cue the rants.
Okay, firstly and the most irksome thing of all is that my so called school 'friends' have been acting peculiar. I mean honestly, who do they think they are! Well I'm not angry at Zaph at all it's just some people in my class.Not someone I've mentioned before on gaia and the Good lord Jehovah forbid she reads my journal. Okay, I guess I've been annoying but not so much as in the past because I've been trying to cool down and give some space, but oh no, miss prissy boots goes saying, oh she's in a huff with us. And the other person asks for a hug and I'm a tad surprised since I'm the one thats always demanding the hugs. She sees my surprise and here we go, a nice snide comment. Heh, the gratitude I get. I think I'll just have to go back to the way I was and start being unfriendly and 'introverted' again. Damn.
I feel so messed up and I just don't want to say about what happened at the hospital. I really want to cry but I'll end up hating myself more.
I don't even want to start on what other things have been happening.....
I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THAT BLOODY COMMERCIALISM. STUPID ATHEISTS BEING HYPOCRITES, AND, AND, AND, ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
One good thing though, I'v become friends with the cool dudes on my bus.
I've had recurring nightmares again and each time they keep on getting worse and worse, stranger and stranger.
Do you know the one sad thing though? I've been contemplating suicide. I feel like an invalid - one moment I'm perfectly healthy - I'm usually robust and the next my mobility freezes up. Sometimes now, I even question my religion.
God I'm so messed up.
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