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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v186/wickedpixie55/SIG/Journal-Header.png" alt="Random Ramblings of a Wicked Pixie.">
Love is....
.
.
.
...confusing.

What is love? How do you know if you're "in" love? How can you tell when someone loves you? Is it worth wondering about?

It's one for those 4am questions, the ones that keep you awake and just can't be answered. Like, why can't you buy turkey eggs?

For me love's been pretty scarey. Being "in love" has left me, on more than one occasion, feeling used and useless. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, no one seemed to appreciate it or give anything back. But every time I've picked up the pieces and moved on.

Now it means that every time I'm faced with loving someone again I feel just a little more scared and a little less sure of how to make it work. Without even realising what I'm doing that fear of messing up is always there, controlling my actions and twisting my thoughts. It's a fear that's been put there by loving and not feeling loved back. A weird kind of paranoid expectation of failure.


Madonna
To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.


And that's what I try to do. I try to be brave and just give without expecting anything back. I try and be courageous.

But still I was missing something.

It's really hard to love someone totally and unconditionally when you don't feel loved back! And that's where the problem lies. I was looking for love to try and fix all the things that had gone wrong before, trying to find someone to make it all better. And that's looking for love for all the wrong reasons.


Hugh Elliot
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.


So true! I took a good look at what I was doing and I discovered that before I can expect anyone else to make me happy I have to be happy on my own! I have to love myself first. Now THAT's going to take some brave and couragous effort!

It's all about being strong enough on your own. It's all about knowing how to make yourself happy. It's all about not being needy!

Until I can do that then I really can't give unconditionally.


Erica Jong
Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.


And true again. But first you have to be be brave enough to be alone, confident enough in yourself to know that risking everything will not leave you with nothing and the things that you fight for should be just for you.

Because at the end of the day if you love yourself then you've got everything you'll ever need!






User Comments: [7] [add]
Space Pirate Chelly
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 02:47pm
no worries =)

all will be fine okay Pix

you always have me as a friend afterall =)


commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 02:58pm
*huggles* Indeedy Chelly!

Ack!
I'm always fine. Rubber coated PiX always bounces back! 3nodding

Embyrr, it always amazes me how everyone always feels like they're the only person that all this s**t happens to! I know I do! It's taken me a long time to realise that even if the whole world is picking on you you're never really alone! *hugs* Pehaps that's what's making it so much easier to get all this stuff out in such a public way! 3nodding



wickedpixie
Community Member
Embyrr
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 03:04pm
I love your entry. heart

It mirrors my head right now. xp


commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 05:04pm
*hugs back* I know what you mean! heart

(I'd reply via PM, but Gaia is eating my PMs... gonk )

I've had a lot happen to me in the past month - and frankly, it's made me insanely confused about the meaning of life and love and everything in between. And yes, it's kept me up late at night. I haven't really slept in a week, it's bad. xp



Embyrr
Community Member
wickedpixie
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 05:11pm
*huggles Embyrr*

And that's rule 2 of sods law, it always all happens at once!

I don't know if you ever got the e-mail I sent, but it wished you well and was meant to let you know that if you need an impartial shoulder to cry on there's always one here! 3nodding


commentCommented on: Wed Oct 06, 2004 @ 06:48pm
Funkygoblin Wrote:
Quote:
Love is a pile of horse sh*t, and everyone will always try and screw you over.


It'll be alright Pix! You need to go pick up some nice rich blokes at Centre Parks this weekend! xp

By the way, you can't buy turkey eggs 'cause turkeys don't lay a lot, and they are very expencive, and a turkey is worth more as a turkey then an egg, if you know what I mean! So all the turkey eggs go to make new turkeys!



Funkygoblin
Community Member
wickedpixie
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Oct 07, 2004 @ 09:23am
LOL

Thanks for the answer to the turkey thing, even though I'm still sure it's a conspiracy!

Now I'll be able to sleep again! 3nodding


User Comments: [7] [add]
 
 
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