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Random jokes:

billy was a chemists son,but now he is no more,what he thought was H2O,was H2SO4 ~
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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's a**
and turned it's wool to nylon
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Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
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Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman to Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
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Spider, spider on the wall.
Ain't you got no sense at all?
Can't you see the walls been plastered?
Now you're stuck you silly b*****d
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1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
And if one stick of dynamite should accidentally fall...
There'll be no sticks of dynamite and no ******** wall
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Incy Wincy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the acid and burned the ******** out
down came the rain and washed him all away
And Incy Wincy spider died that very day~

haha i made that one~
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POEM
I'm sure you can imagine
As plain as you can be
The place is Picadilly
The player He and She

She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times.
And said it can be sore."

Then finally contented
Laid back and relaxed a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size

"Calm yourself," he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get it in".

"It's coming now,"he whispered.
"I know."she cried in a bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this.."

And with final effort
She gave a frightened shout.
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contented
Sighed and gave a smile
She said," I am glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find...
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!
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