April 7, 2010 Wednesday 9:50PM
Se...Sennyo,
I had my first dream about the Family last night. It was so wonderful. Nucc was there (although he didn't look like Nucc, and he had his hair cut short), the Hippo (who was naked in a pure way), Jigai (for only a few moments), and ruby too, with her new haircut.
It was snowing outside, in this parking lot that we met up at. Nucc and I were the last to arrive. A building. Brick on the outside, and then airport-like on this inside.
Bright outside and inside.
Nucc, he held my hand! I could feel the warmth. I looked at him shyly, then caught ruby's eyes who looked at me sneakily, in a warm, teasing way. Our fingers intertwined.
The Hippo, in front of us, was still bare. So pure. The dream was devoid of sexuality, that's how 'pure' it was. I saw the back of the Hippo, the front too, but never his genitals. I guess that shows how our Family could be/was/could have been/?. I don't really know... ha.
I can't tell the Family though, can I? How tragic, my first dream of the whole entire Family, or rather, some members of it. The important ones. How terrible of me to say that. I can't tell them though, because it was from my perspective, and because of what happened between Nucc and me. I just can't. So I've told you instead, is that okay?
I also told F3, my family at the youth-group thing, about my dream. Tonight was wonderful as always. We spent a good while of it trying to persuade a squirrel to come near us as we tossed cinnamon-roasted-almonds at it. It just about worked. Got some good pictures and a few short videos of it.
9:59PM-it's dangerous.
11:22PM
-resume
We then spent some time fooling around, and it was within the last half-hour or so that we really got to talking. Talking about our lives, our futures, etc. I explained to them very shortly about "the Lion and the Rabbit", "the Wine and the Glass", "the Flower and the Vase". I told them that they were really good rabbits. So selfless. RB and Victory said that I was as well, although I disagreed. Then stating that, I see only a few sides of them, which may be why they seem so selfless to me. Because I can't get into their heads. Victory then said that she felt like she had so many sides (she used a different word than that, though, I think) that she didn't know which was inside and out. We went to the amphitheatre, and talked a while.
I want to tell the Family, so desperately of my dream. But I just can't. It would ruin so much more than our friendship, Nucc and I's, but as well as the whole site of F2. We are a small community. I sometimes wish that dreams told the truth of people's feelings. In that dream... oh, how he seemed to love me so!
God Yevon, I feel like I'm just repeating the same things over and over again. This Side of Paradise still has a hold on me, as I act so dramatic and whatnot. But, still... in that dream, he was like Him, whom I can no longer see. Hell, it pains me even to say your name.
I wish I could fly.
[End Log] 11:32PM
Poison Fairy Sennyo Community Member 
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