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Hey, it's raining. I would love to run XC in the rain. The rain feels nice and it is a far cry better then the hot, blazing sun that's for sure...but, running means that tomorrow I'll have to race and that's just more than I want right now. I am honestly deeply embarrassed by my running ability, or lack thereof. I don't mind running, as much as I say I hate it, but I definitely abhor racing. I know I stink at it; a race just rubs it all in my face.

Why can't I have happy news for you? I really wish I did. I guess I can say confidently that I am content despite all this stress. I am happy most of my days and that's something isn't it? I wish I had someone to talk to more thoroughly without boring them to death. Kelly thinks like me, but I still have to just smile sometimes and keep my mouth shut. I wish I didn't. I make a lot of wishes don't I? And ask a lot of questions.

I have thirty minutes to decide if I am going to go to practice or not. I believe I will. The sound of the rain is so comforting. I long to wrap myself up in this feeling and just stay like this for a while; maybe not evening needing to breath. It sounds like the soft distant drumming of fingertips over the sound of someone humming a gentle sad song. The melody settles within my heart and calms me down beautifully. One more month right? Just one more.