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Sohma Hatori stood in front of a mirror in the home of his cousin, Sohma Shigure, fussing with his neck tie. The man flinched when a hand touched his shoulder. He had been so engrossed in what he had been doing that nothing around him had mattered. The ryu juunishi turned to see Shigure's smiling face. He was positive that the novelist was trying to reassure him that this really was the right thing to do. Hatori just sighed and turned back to the mirror, pushing his hair back from over his left eye, then let it fall right back in place. Why am I doing this?

"Do you want me to come with you?" Shigure asked of his cousin, his concern for the doctor evident. But Hatori knew that the inu had work to do. Besides, he would rather be alone for this. So the ryu shook his head, black hair tickling the left side of his jaw.

"No thank you, Shigure. You have to finish your manuscript for your editor-" Shigure was about to assure the ryu that he was more important than his editor when Hatori cut him off, "-Ayame had already offered, and I turned him down too. It's just something that I have to do alone."

Hatori grabbed his suit jacket and slipped it on, pulling his car keys from his pants' pocket. He took a deep breath and walked to the house entrance, sliding the rice paper door along its track. He took a step into the fresh, afternoon air. He slid the door closed behind him, muffling the sounds of Shigure's complaints about how he shouldn't be going alone. Maybe it was because Akito was right and his heart was surrounded by ice and snow.

The Sohma doctor ran his hand through his dark tresses once more, holding it atop his head for a moment before letting it hide his eye as usual. He slid into his car, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. Why am I risking this? If she sees me, she could remember. He ignored his thoughts and forced himself to start the car. He shifted the car into reverse and pulled away from Shigure's house, trying to keep his thoughts on the road, and out of that church. He concentrated on the cars passing him by, and the houses and also the people walking. Anything but where he was going. He would deal with that when he got there.

Hatori's breath caught in his throat when the seemingly ominous looking church rose into view. It looked like it was looming over him, like it was taunting and laughing at him. He ignored its daunting looks and pulled his car off to the side of the road and shifted into park, shutting off the ignition.



Hatori opened the car door and gingerly stepped one foot on the rocky shoulder of the road. He sat perfectly still as if frozen by the snow residing around his heart. He quickly pulled his foot back inside and closed the door. He leaned forward and rested his elbow on the steering wheel, cradling his head in his hand. No matter how much he watched the church, he couldn't make himself move from the driver's seat of his car.

Hatori sat bolt upright when he caught movement out of the corner of his good eye. He turned to see the chauffeur step out of the limousine. The driver, not much older than Hatori, himself, pulled a cigarette package from his shirt pocket, placing one small cylinder between his lips. The ryu watched as the man turned a smiling face toward someone who had started to speak to him, cigarette momentairly forgotten. Hatori had thought about going across the street to speak with the chauffeur, but decided to do something else inspired by the pair; he pulled a cigarette from his own package, slidding it between his slightly parted lips. He took a lighter from his jacket pokcet and tried lighting his cigarette, producing only sparks on the initial attempt. When the small butane lighter finally produced a flame, he brought the lighter to the cigarette and filled his lungs with the chemicals. He threw the lighter down on the passenger seat and turned to peer at the driver.

Hatori noticed that the driver was alone once more. He played with the thought of speaking to the man again, but he thought better of it. He would go over there, and she would walk out of those doors, he was certain. No, his car was safe.



Hatori leaned back, his head against the head rest and closed his hazel eyes. Behind his now, seemingly, heavy eyelids, he could see her; Kana. He smiled a rare, small smile at the image. She wore a long, white dress that flowed out from her body like a foamy river. The dress clung to every curve in just the right places. Ever since he had seen her that first time, he could easily draw he contours of her body in his mind.

The ryu juunishi delved deeper into the thoughts that were threatening to consume him. She stood before the altar, the colored light emerging from the stained glass windows hitting her just right to give her the illusion of an angelic glow. But he knew that she needn't have the sunlight to give off such a warm glow.