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Okay, quick one tonight.
Last Thursday, I started looking at some depressing icons online, and that started me thinking about all the bad stuff that has happened in my life, and I started cutting myself with a knife. Well, while I was doing this, I sent out pleas of help to my friends, and Yuna-senpai came over whilst I was lying on my bed, bleeding. Her mother got me out of bed, woke me up by putting me under some cold water, then started talking to me, asking me why I was cutting myself. The truth is: I felt like I wanted to die because I cannot deal with the amount of emotional stress I (at least feel) am going through right now. But, even more true than that is the fact that I want to live happily, not depressed all the time.
Anyway, my dad came home from work and started talking to me, telling me the same thing he's been telling me since I started having these problems; obviously it is not working. And then Hi-san, Kori-chan, and Hi-san's mother came over, but I did not want to see them, so I told Hi-san's mother that.
After that, I kind of just talked to my brother for a long time because he was the only person who I think can relate to my problems right now, as he was once like this. And then I fell asleep with my sister in my room(we used to share a room until we moved and now she sleeps in her own room crying ).
I am now seeing a really funny old man who is a psychiatrist, and I am hoping that I may be able to find exactly what is wrong with me right now. I wonder if I am still weeping over Steven's death. That was the hardest death I have had to deal with in my lifetime.
Wow! Okay, that ended up being much longer than I expected it to be, and it is 10 minutes past my bedtime, so I will say good night now. Night night. blaugh
 Lady_Esmerel · Tue May 10, 2005 @ 05:39am · 2 Comments |
