So, I can't sleep for a reason. I've been here for hours, rummaging the website and such. I can't be sure why can't I sleep, I don't feel safe anymore and whenever I close my eyes, I see her. Yeah, she's there, always looking upon me but I can't touch her nor reach. She doesn't belong to my world, she doesn't feels safe with me. She even...gets away from my side. But that's the only way she can be safe, without me. I've lost sleep ever since this started, it wasn't today, it wasn't yesterday but it sure gave me a close blow, one I can't understand, one...I can't bear to hold. I hate feeling like this, I hate knowing I was being treated like a special being though I became too greedy, I craved for more, I wanted to feel her closer. It's gone, I can't take her off my mind and what I once felt for women it's fading. I might change my taste to males just because of what happened, I can't cry anymore, drained all the tears this event had until a point it hurts and burns every time my eyelids clash into a blink, nothing seems right anymore, nothing feels straight
It's just that I've always bottled up these feels but I guess I'm not strong enough, not even capable of understand. Being a putrid being like myself feels rather empty, this void has no one like me, just myself and my own filthy way of being. I'm done for, I don't want this anymore. Please, press the button when I count to three. I don't need this life, not anymore. Why do I feel like this? Why can't she come back? Why do I get ditched countless time. I really can't tell whether I'm lucky or ******** up. People say it's better that way but I say I can't have it that way, it's the first time I've typed up something. I need to go back to my games, to childhood. Where everyone messed up with me but it didn't changed a thing.
Curl up in my room is a must now, therefore I can't fail in college anymore. I can't fail to myself anymore, there's no point at sinking more in my own mud of falling desires. There's nothing like a nice session of you. Nothing feels better when I'm here for you. Scorching lies, boiling assumptions were the things that took us apart. I'm lost in my mind as well as lost in time. Writing this for half hour just because of the things you made me do. Ignorance, shame, sloth, lust were the things that broke our bind. Bind of love that had to stay together, just for you and me, just for our lovely happy ending, the one that I will never recover, the one I want to cherish once again, but not with anyone, not with any other single soul other than yours, yours...Is the one I crave for. Is the only one that made me wrote such thing, only one that makes me ponder about the goods and the bads, only one...That belongs to you.
I'm a liar and a loner, I can't bear to stop thinking about you, the day that happens is the day that I will die, perhaps it won't last too much for that, I might lose contact with the world, become a ******** mole with its awkward coating, filled with fur, just to hide the chaos that surround my pitiful being, the one no one wants, the one no one needs. If you're truly a person of love you'll be reading until now instead of skipping the truth of my true self, the one that tans the reality of a ******** up beast like me, I'm no one, I'm nothing. I've just emptied myself with most of my secrets. I couldn't make this longer, I failed again. Failure is rather refreshing after you've done it repeatedly, you should feel it, just along with me, it's the only way we can be together, but until then this fake puppet should stay alone. Though, I can't hate, I'm not capable of doing so. I...just can't. Loving her until the end.
Alone...Alone...Alone....That's right. It's the only thing left in this disposable toy. After all is being said, I guess there's nothing else to do but take a vacation from this website.
It's just that I've always bottled up these feels but I guess I'm not strong enough, not even capable of understand. Being a putrid being like myself feels rather empty, this void has no one like me, just myself and my own filthy way of being. I'm done for, I don't want this anymore. Please, press the button when I count to three. I don't need this life, not anymore. Why do I feel like this? Why can't she come back? Why do I get ditched countless time. I really can't tell whether I'm lucky or ******** up. People say it's better that way but I say I can't have it that way, it's the first time I've typed up something. I need to go back to my games, to childhood. Where everyone messed up with me but it didn't changed a thing.
Curl up in my room is a must now, therefore I can't fail in college anymore. I can't fail to myself anymore, there's no point at sinking more in my own mud of falling desires. There's nothing like a nice session of you. Nothing feels better when I'm here for you. Scorching lies, boiling assumptions were the things that took us apart. I'm lost in my mind as well as lost in time. Writing this for half hour just because of the things you made me do. Ignorance, shame, sloth, lust were the things that broke our bind. Bind of love that had to stay together, just for you and me, just for our lovely happy ending, the one that I will never recover, the one I want to cherish once again, but not with anyone, not with any other single soul other than yours, yours...Is the one I crave for. Is the only one that made me wrote such thing, only one that makes me ponder about the goods and the bads, only one...That belongs to you.
I'm a liar and a loner, I can't bear to stop thinking about you, the day that happens is the day that I will die, perhaps it won't last too much for that, I might lose contact with the world, become a ******** mole with its awkward coating, filled with fur, just to hide the chaos that surround my pitiful being, the one no one wants, the one no one needs. If you're truly a person of love you'll be reading until now instead of skipping the truth of my true self, the one that tans the reality of a ******** up beast like me, I'm no one, I'm nothing. I've just emptied myself with most of my secrets. I couldn't make this longer, I failed again. Failure is rather refreshing after you've done it repeatedly, you should feel it, just along with me, it's the only way we can be together, but until then this fake puppet should stay alone. Though, I can't hate, I'm not capable of doing so. I...just can't. Loving her until the end.
Alone...Alone...Alone....That's right. It's the only thing left in this disposable toy. After all is being said, I guess there's nothing else to do but take a vacation from this website.
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{I5 L0V3.}