|
|
|
|
We broke up day before yesterday, Bill and I.
I'm still pretty torn up about it, but I think I'll be okay... I still have hope, and I'm clinging to that.
Like hella.
And Lacy was right... he's an amazing friend. It just hurts to know that he's only my friend, knowing also how much we both still love each other... at least, i hope that he wasn't lying when he said that he still loves me... it's so hard... Part of me still is hoping that i'm gonna wake up and find out that all of this was a horrible nightmare, kinda like that one thing with the ghosts of christmas whatever... but i know that it's not true.
And even if all i have is a fool's hope, then let me be a fool, because its what's keeping me together right now. i have to keep myself moving and busy, otherwise my mind strays and i start thinking about everything, and when that happens it's inevitable that i start to cry, which is something that i've done so much of in the past three or four days that i'm starting to get dehydrated.
it's all i can do to not call him every time i have the chance... i love hearing his voice... it makes everything a little better. i know it sounds ridiculous, but i don't care. it's the truth. every time i do talk to him, it takes just a little longer for me to feel the hurt coming back... it doesn't feel right not being able to tell him how much i love him. it's not ******** fair. yeah, i sound like a kid, but i don't care about that either. he says that we need to be able to move on and be friends again in order for us to be together in the future... part of me understands, but the other part, the part that's in pain, doesn't. I guess that's the part that bill said was like a three-year-old.
it just... hurts. a lot.
I feel alone.
it feels like he took half of my heart...
...and now i feel like only half of a person.
 [.Malevolent.] · Thu Jan 18, 2007 @ 09:07pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'Kay, so why is my boyfriend so frigging retarded about me being on the computer?
It's TEN MINUTES. Christ. -.-#
--Megglemonster
[.Malevolent.] · Sat Dec 02, 2006 @ 02:32am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
His paranoia is really starting to get to me... I love him SO much. More than anyone could possibly FATHOM.
But seriously. He needs to get over the fact that I'm not going to ******** him over and hurt him! I need to be trusted! It's getting really... frustrating. =Sigh=
--Megglemonster
[.Malevolent.] · Tue Nov 28, 2006 @ 05:15am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
AAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAH! =Flailbouncebounceflailspaztwirlcoughhackdiebouncecactusflailcookiebadgermushroomshampoowhalecollapsedie=
OMFG
:3 I might be able to go to teh FFTL concert. <3
[.Wishmethebestwhores<3.]
[.Malevolent.] · Thu Mar 09, 2006 @ 06:23am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cory, you got your wish. It's over.
[.Malevolent.] · Mon Jan 30, 2006 @ 12:43pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Death
Unafraid, she makes her way, and braces whatever comes, knowing that the end is a day nearer, an hour closer, a mere second away. she traces her fingers through the blood of the fallen-the heroes, the evil ones, and with a whisper, wipes out cities, eliminates civilizations, with a breath she brings an end to time and knowledge, with a touch she topples kingdoms and conquers empires. She gazes upon all that is beauty and all that is pure with loathing, and blackens the whitest hearts. A gentle stroke of her fingers, the caress of her icy skin draws out the warmth of life, leaving her victim as if they never were. The weight of her eyes is enough to crush the strongest. She glides over the land, free of care. She is death, and she is not afraid.
[.Malevolent.] · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 08:08am · 5 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mercy
Curious, your fallen trip
oh angel of lovely things
I plant my foot and take a grip,
I'm tearing off your wings.
Take a bath in your sweet blood
Then lick your flowing tears
Mingled with the sticky mud
You scream, but no one hears.
Make a noose with bleeding flesh
and hang it from a tree
Messy hands from life so fresh
It's far to late to flee.
Make amends, you evil thing
the end's around your neck
When you're gone the dead will sing,
you bleeding, mangled wreck.
You knowingly corrupt yourself,
Betrayer of your kind
you've lost your broken, tarnished crown
No mercy shall you find.
What's gone around has come around
your life is at its end
The debt was paid when it was found,
Now time to die, my friend.
[.Malevolent.] · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 08:06am · 3 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fallen snow on grass so green,
Rivers flow through hills unseen.
Fairydust and fallen stars,
Moonlight falls in silver bars.
Flowers bloom as dryads dance,
Barely seen, at just a glance.
Never here shall you fear pain,
For here is light, the nightmare's bane.
No evil shall the nighttime bring,
You're safe beneath an angel's wing.
So sleep, my little restless one,
Bask in the glowing rays of the sun.
Awaken thee later and find happiness lies
Just beyond dreaming, so just close your eyes...
YAY FOR NON-ANGST!!! OoO!!! heart
[.Malevolent.] · Sat Jul 16, 2005 @ 04:14am · 15 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sleeping angel, touch my wings
turn my thoughts from lonely things
the silence that the nighttime brings
shall ever fill my mind.
Deliver me from winter's chill
Presenting such a deadened will
the lifetimes of forever still
will ever haunt my dreams.
The silver moon is shining bright
a guard against the pending blight
a beacon in the darkest night
Forever lead me home...
heart
[.Malevolent.] · Fri Jul 15, 2005 @ 04:45am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
![[.Malevolent.]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/bb/b0/11067bfdbb0bb.png?t=1244147578_6.00_00 "[.Malevolent.]")