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its weird, how everyday things change.
for a few weeks ive been feeling pretty stupid, and alone, and dead to the world. like no one really wants me, you know? no one likes me, no one cares. i know this is emo s**t but theyre real emotions, i couldnt give a ******** less about what anyone thinks, you've been here too. i just feel like s**t. depressed. contemplating decisions ive made, decisions i know i have to make. theres this one, i cant really go into detail about, but i know this decision has to be made sooner or later. nothing lasts forever, i just dont know when the time will be right. i won't know how much time i've actually wasted until it's over, but i dont know how to end it or why i really truly should or when. life is crazy. i kind of wish everyone could just sit back, be happy, just enjoy what you have because even though it may be s**t or it may even be not much at all, you've got it. you're alive. you made it, and sure you could be broken and beaten inside but its not like you cant heal. if you want something, you dont just wish for it. you go out and look for it. go out and experience more, let everything soak in and come to you.

if only i could take my own advice