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white

drunk

hand

i've been singing YMCA for the last 20 minutes.
gonk
went to see The Cinematics, Dresden and Frightened Rabbit last night.
was gooood.
jon bought me a few drinks.
basically hung around with him the entire night since ash and kirstin vanished at some point during the concert.
probably to have wild sex in the toilets.
rolleyes
then got soaked in the pouring rain, walking round glasgow with jon 'til we got picked up.
wished mark could've came.
i miss him when he's not around.

got really weird today.
suddenly became scared.
things have gone really well with him.
really fast.
barely known each other two weeks.
but feels like i've known him for aaaaaaaages.
so comfortable with him.
i love him to bits.
i thought of the age gap today, it's only 3 years and a couple of months.
but it scared me - what if he is too grown up for me and doesn't like how childish and silly i am sometimes? what if he doesn't like me as much as he says he does? what if he gets bored with me? what if he forgets me?
i used to be fine with relationships.
totally cool.
then richard ******** everything up.
******** me up.
******** richard.
if i see him i'll punch him in the teeth.
i'm happy that all my friends hate him.
i'm happy that all my friends hate his friends.
the emo/scenesters.
aka FAKES.
i'm happy that i have mark.
and i want this to work with him.
he's an awesome dude and we have way too much in common not to get along.
even if things don't work out, aslong as it's not a repeat of what happened with richard.
another 7 months of getting hurt and ******** over.
huge-gantic waste of my life.
a big chunk of time GONE all because of a stupid little boy that manipulated my trust and feelings for him.
anyways.
i'm ranting.
but i'm bored, soaking wet, and have a tonne of schoolwork to do.
so off i go.
i hope i get some gold for this.

dramallama

really.
life has been crazy.
crazy like a polaroid picture.
or crazy in some other way that goes well in a song.
neutral
i have perma-butterflies.
drunk alot.
wandering around, crashing out in people's houses and waking up on the couch with men. lovely men.

surprised


and i finally said goodbye to my ex, who i'd been talking to on a sortof 'friends' basis, but we could never be just friends. he doesn't want to be just friends. we planned stuff, like meeting up and stuff, but it would just be weird. and i loved him so much and he hurt me so bad, i don't think i could be with him. there's this song, evanescence - yeh they are cheesey and stuff but i have a soft spot for them, their lyrics and amy lee's singing. this song had me in tears. yes. stupid hormones. it just seems to sum up what i went through for him. and now it's like, i don't care anymore, because i have no feelings for him, and i can't explain how good it feels. he abandoned me at a bad time, he didn't actually 'dump' me, he just seemed to stop existing and left me by myself when i was going through alot of s**t with my family. i cried, i cut myself, i was on meds... then i got a job and got better, he phoned me when he was drunk just to tell me he loved me, then nothing, and now he wanted to meet up, and i'm the one saying no. i'm a big cheeseball. and not as sensitive or crazy as i was with him. now i just want a good time, i have good friends, and i'm doing well. getting involved with him can't be good for me. so i'm not going to.
Sparkling grey
Through my own veins
Any more than a whisper
Any sudden movement of my heart
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away

Just get through this day

Give up your way, you could be anything,
Give up my way,
and lose myself,
not today
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way, and I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless hate....hate...hate.....hate

So run, run, run
And hate me, if it feels good
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out

And you'll never hurt me again

in other news.
my keyboard (on my computer upstairs) is a complete spaz.
the ctrl, shift, tab, left arrowkey, right arrowkey, and B and N no longer work.
which makes playing the sims a b***h because i can't cheat.
also, typing essays is a whole new thing now.


hmm.


i'm seeing someone now.
he is a total sweetheart, which is unfamiliar territory to me (majority of my 'friends' have been immature senseless b**tards).
also, i cannot believe how much we have in common.
literally, i was shocked he knew even half the bands that i liked, anime, movies, bands, games, other stuff, we just click and it's good.
i think it's seriousish, but he's fun and i just enjoy being with him.
so we'll see.


so.


michelle is going to play ddr now.



dramallama

i've not dyed my hair in a while.

think it's time to go multicolour again.

bored.

stare

ok, i (being the complete idiot that i am) moved pictures in photobucket and broke all the links.
so i am reposting.
a-haw-haw-haw.
chyeah.