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ok yes i am looking for a job and yes i do want money but that doesnt give daniel the right to apply for jobs fo me without my knowing and therefore not even my permission.

the only reason why i want a job -- wait let me rephrse that, the only reason why i think i need a job is because daniel wants me to get one because he 'absolutely loves an independant girl who can pay for herlsef when we go out' dont make me sick!!!! this whole thing is a contradiction becaue if he wants me to be independant, then why is he getting a job for me. he makes me feel so freaking inadequate, like i am so stupid, i cant get a jo myself.NEWS FALSH FOR YOU HUN, I AM NOT EVEN TRYING AS HARD AS I SHOULD BE BECAUSE I DONT EVEN WANT A JOB BUT I PRETEND I DO JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!.

i dont know how to feel about all t his or how i am supposed to react to him. do i say thankyou or do i say f#$% you, because i dont know if he is doing this in my best interests like he was doing something nice because it bummed me out so much. because everytime he asked me if i had a job yet, i would get so upset because i hated the fact that he was pestering me so much a bout one so i guess he thought i got upset because i wanted one so badly but i hadnt got one yet.

my my i have really dug myself a huge hole aye. i should have told him the truth in the first place but i knew how he would react, he would get up on his high horse and give me lecture upon lecture of how important it is to have a job!!!!!


at the moment i am angry at him but i dont iknow what i will say when i speak to him

yesterday my and my boyfreind did this thing were we get out hair and my make up done and take proffesional photos together. when we had to choose which photos we wanted, we liked about 4, but they were $150 each so by the edn ogf it, daniel (my bf) spent like $600 for them, and it was a christmas gift for me. omg that is expensive, and he has an ordinary job

on the other hand, i have no job and what i am giving him costs nothing at all coz i have no money crying so i am making him a flash animation and some otehr stuff

i feel so bad because here he is spending like that much money on me and i am giving him the crappiest present in the world gonk

i need a job bad so i can pay him back all the stuff he has spent on me, i dont want to be a money sucker, if that even is a term

i just did my hsc, and i got the results of it today. i did good, i guess good enough to get me into my course. but i feel crap coz i wanted to beat my genious boyyfreind who is like the best in everything

i just wanted to show him that i can actually beat him in something

- he is better than me at drawing
- he is more cultured
- he is richer
- bla bla bla bla

well taljking to me friends and stuff, they are getting worse makrs but thats not the point.

the only thin i am btter than him is at sewing, but he doesnt even knmo how to so and not many guys would.

it has taken me almost 2 months to do 5 mins of flash animation and it is the crappy kind too.

i am basically doing a small scene with me and my boyfriend but in anime version, we look so cute but the animation is a little bit boring.

i am a little disouraged because i now think it is crap but i cant stop now an if i do, i will have no thing to give him for his birthday

i made him a tedddy bear. i made so many mistakes on it but it took me only a day to do. heck it was my first try making a bear and i didnt even have instructions or anything, so i guess thats good. i seriously hope that when i give the things to him, he just gives me a look of "oh is that it" i just hope he really likes it and appreciates the FREAKING TROUBLE I WENT THROUGH TO DO THESE THINGS FOR HIM

anyways, im off

wow i have been looking around, reading people's journals and i am coming across some mad characters and even better clothing


scream scream I AM SO JEALOUS!!!!!!! scream scream

i still dont have enough money to get me anything real hot but its just a matter of time.

i gave in my resume to a pharmacy. the area is pretty crap but a job is a job so ill take anything....i guess.

when i went to hand it in, one of the guys that works there was just full staring at me, it took him about a minute or 2 to actually come up to me to see if i needed to be served. he made me feel so awkward sweatdrop

so when i gave it in to him, just just started saying useless stuff, stuff that anybody would know, he says:

"ok what we are doing at the moment is just looking at the resumes and we will call the people in that we think are good (or some crap like that). ok but i will just have t chek if you have ur contact number, oh yes i see you do have it (isnt it a given that you would have a contact number???)"

then finally he let me go stressed

so i do need the job but maybe not that much because i am pretty freaked aout about the guy........whats even worse, he now has my address and phone number. maybe i am just overreacting and he does it to everyone, but it does freak me out a little.

if i get the job, should i actually work there?

biggrin biggrin biggrin ok i just finished my HSC so now im on my holidays until i go to university (thats if i get in eek ). during the holidays, i was supposed have a job at a jewellery store but that plan fell through because the manager went on holidays so now i have no job and i am searching hard. ARHHH I NEED TO FIND A JOB!!!!

the main reason why i needed a job was to get money, the reason why i need money is because i need to buy a gift for my boyfriend, i actually have/want to buy 2 gifts because his birthday falls very close to christmas stressed

so for the moment i have to find inexpensive gifts or inexpensive things to make him. i have a couple ideas

* flash animation
* some artworks, i still dont know what yet
* hand make a teddy bear with clothes or something similar -- i wonder if its too girly to do that for a guy sad
* make a mad massive wooden photo frame thing

i think i will start with the flash animation because i still dont quite know how to do it yet and that will take a long time to do, so ill have to play around with it first