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This is a newsletter created by me and I printed it out and passed it around my school...they seemed to like it...so I hope you do too...

My First Column
Hi! I’m the crazy lunatic that everyone knows… Yes it’s me *name*! Don’t ask me why I’m wasting a good day just making this junk, but… yes I will say it…
I’M BORED!!!!!!!!Yes the dreaded thing everyone hates boredom and that is why I’m wasting my time to tell stuff to the people whose minds have rotted into moosh no, not mush because that’s what tv does, but, moosh is created by rap that makes people turn hello into yo and bad into good but, bad can’t be good because good is good and if bad is good, then what’s bad? See even I don’t get it. Look, don’t get mad at me because I don’t use slang and can’t figure out how to spell whack or wak or wac or however you spell it, I’ve only been living in the middle of it for 12 years. My mind doesn’t wander to Eminem and Usher, it wanders to Furuba (aka Fruits Basket) and FMA (aka Fullmetal Alchemist), so don’t get mad at me for
making the same face you do when I ask you who would win: Sosuke Sagara or Alphonse Elric when you ask me who won the Real World because I DON’T KNOW!!!! (does anyone even win the Real World?)

My Second Column
I don’t know if anybody noticed, but aren’t the bags you carry home heavy? No, I’m not complaining, much, but It would be better if there were workbooks for every subject, like Language Arts, because I’d rather carry home a 2 lb. workbook than a 15 lb. textbook (I might be exaggerating, but whatever). My grandmother can’t even lift it (nothing was wrong with that sentence because my grandmother is stronger than me and nothing was wrong with that sentence, because my grandma works out at the gym EVERY DAY).
So, if I carry my bag to school and back, doesn’t that mean I’m stronger than super granny? Yay! I lose a fight with my dog (which is a Chihuahua...a big chihuahua)(remember the scar on my forehead last year) but I can knock down senior citizens! Yay! Wait a second… I wouldn’t do that because I’m a kind, generous, sweet, caring, and conceited person.
*End of Issue One*

My Third Column
Konnichiwa! It’s me the crazy lunatic that everyone knows…yes *name*! Since so many people liked my first issue of the unnamed newspaper, I decided to make another one and probably in the next issue or so, I’m hoping that someone can at least send in a story or an article or artwork or… CHEESE!!!! I don’t really like cheese that much, only mozzarella and parmesan, but I’ll have that cheese in the cheese and breadsticks that is in that stuff and stuff! (I had to end that sentence one way or another. Oh, yeah, that paperclip guy on my screen is falling asleep it’s funny…now he’s awake. Anyway, a certain someone wanted me to write about the government and the oil prices, but I don’t see what’s so funny about some black, goopy stuff, so I won’t put it in. Guess what? I learned how to spell whack or wak or wac! It’s spelled wack! I think… And nobody answered my question in the last issue if anyone won the Real World…oh well, it was destiny that no one will know if BET has game shows (it was a joke, I know the Real World is on MTV…or was it VH1? TV’s too confusing).

My Fourth Column
As everyone remembers last year, my dog attacked (called "playing" wink me and that started the legacy of Burouni Denchin (I didn’t misspell it, it was really B-urouni D-enchin). And if anyone was wondering…the Fullmetal Alchemist theme song is Ready Steady Go! by L’arc~en~ciel…that had nothing to do with anything but …my mind… it’s… mush! Yes the mushy mushy substance that comes out of my nose on Sundays to play poker is my brain! Guhhhh brains brains!!!!
*End of Issue 2*

My Fifth Column
Hi, it’s me again! The crazy lunatic everyone knows…*name*!!! Yup I’m back and with a vengeance… Muahahahahahaha!! Ahh…now that I’ve got that out of my system… I want to tell you guys about this paper I found… this was during science class on Monday and I found this contract thingy. Nothing really interesting (then why am I telling this to you), just some Yu-gi-oh tournament going on… ahh…6th graders…so naïve (what am I saying? I was a 6th grader just 2 years ago!) Oh yeah, I was saying 6th graders are naïve… and I don’t know what this has to do with anything, but whatever. At last! Someone has given me sonething to print!
Oy! Or Oi!… Hey! It's me, link_to_the_past, you know the person that writes link_to_the_past was Here! ^.^Well for some reason I’m writing about… uh…I forgot…oh yeah…pie! Yes pie, I like pie. Veering off topic…you know what a funny word is scuba! I forgot what it stands for, but just say it scuba, scuba, scuba! Yeah…back to pie. Pie. There is a lot of pie… cherry pie, apple pie, blueberry pie…I wonder if there’s bread pie. You know, just bread and pie. Wow… that was the most absent-minded thing I ever wrote! That must be not very good… badong! Yes bread pie is badong (bad wrong). Okay I’m done with pie. Bye, bye!
^ ^x

Thanks Emily! Oh and one thing… scuba stands for super
corny underwater bottle air-thingy (It actually stands for self contained underwater breathing apparatus).
heh heh scuba funny!

My Sixth Column
Sorry it took so long, but some people took
their time giving me their submissions… here’s one from MizPenguin

Monique: Half Man or Half Woman???
I know that most of you have heard of this bootlegged lady named Monique. Weird name isn’t it?? Well, anyways, I’m going to tell you the whole nasty gritty truth of Mr./Ms. Monique. It all started around March 1992 when
he/she was born. The doctors (let me tell you it was like 12 of them) couldn’t figure out if it was a boy or a girl or if it was human. Believe me this wasn’t another Ciara case where they could just do surgery and it would be all over; this was the real deal. Anyways, the doctors reassured the mother (we won’t mention her name so she won’t be embarrassed by her child) that everyting would be fine and they will find out the gender in a couple of days. Well, let me tell you they are big fat liars. I know this because they still don’t know if he/she is a boy, girl, ½ boy ½ girl, a monkey, an ape, or whatever it is. Even I don’t know
and he/she is my friend. I can’t make this stuff up. Believe me, my imagination isn’t that big. Anyways, you can ask anyone like Ms. BxzSweetie about Monique. She lives on my block and talks with us on a daily basis. Monique, I mean. How can he/she go outside with her hideous self you might ask? Well, we don’t meet in public…I can tell you that much. Monique has VERY, VERY thick side burns and has a beard and a mustache. We have been telling her to shave those facial
hairs but she dosen’t listen so… her best friends Shanise and Sharmenia are very close to her and they are just as ugly as her. Shanice doesn’t look as bad as Monique, but don’t get me wrong, she has her ugly moments. SHARMANIA IS BUTT UGLY!! You know that old show on Nickelodeon “BUTT UGLY MARTIANS”?? Well, she was the inspiration for it… sad isn’t it!!?!!?…Monique is a mystery case to the human kind. You probably have seen her but since she doesn’t go outside much (I wonder why), you probably haven’t. Elisha and me are the only ones that have been unlucky enough to actually see him/her and actually talk to him/her. Those sane 12 doctors are experimenting on him/her and man,
their conclusions were wrong. Monique is one of (some weird and inhuman) a kind… believe me, he/she is… the half man/woman…have you seen it? biggrin
And here’s the link_to_the_past update…
Yo! It’s me link_to_the_past! Yeah I’m back baby and I’m lovin every minute of it!…not really. Well…ah! You know another word(it’s the opposite of badong) good not bad= gonadab! Yes I just made that up. XD (off the record). Okay you know something else… … OLI, OLI, OLI, OOOOOOOO!! Yes along with Emily was here and Oi/Oy, oli will be my thing I say. Lol. As I was saying before bread pie or pie bread, anyway it is evil/badong ok? I shall stand against all things badong and gonadab! I’m done.
*end of issue 3*

My Seventh Column
Wow! I’m on my fourth issue already! The time just flew by! (It’s only been a week) Yes, you know who this is…and if you don’t something’s wrong with your brain… yes it is I the crazy lunatic everyone knows…(must I say it again) *name*! Can’t you tell I’m aggravated with my own newspaper? If you say no…you’re right! Yes you are! I would never hate my dear sweet newspaper… oh! And one thing…in this issue…I’m putting in a dictionary of words that have been Amaliaized! Such as the word I always use: Bleah! Yes Bleah! Bleah-(blee)anything. you say it when you don’t like something like I bleah, You bleah, he/she/it bleah…we bleah, they bleah, bleah bleah bleah blah blah bleah blah blah blah blah blah bleah (as much fun this is writing blah blah bleah I’ve got to move on… anyway… two years ago… in a galaxy far, far away…there lived a finger puppet named Hlobk aka Helen Lots Of Bobs (Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob) Keller. Heh heh…Bob…K

My Eighth Column
Send those letters in people! So far, I’ve gotten 4 submissions and if you want your paper in TUN, and in italics, may I add, send it to me! Put it in my desk, give it to me in the hallway, give it to me at lunch, anything, just COUGH IT UP!! Oh and fyi, for all those artists out there, I’m putting out an art
Column for TUN!! Please, make the art no larger than half this page, because if it’s too big, I can’t print it! And also… a quick note… please put your name (pen names are good too) and your class! Thank you!

My Ninth Column
Warning! This column of The Unnamed Newspaper is for Fruits Basket fans only! I warned you…The all-new Furuba Volume 12 is coming out, fresh off the press in December and the cover girl…uh…boy is Okami-san’s daughter…I mean son…Ritsu! Yep the monkey, Ritsu Sohma is here to stay and in color! That’s sooo not fair! I have to wait until the 14th issue for Kureno, the clumsy, 26 year old, Akito’s pet rooster! And if you want to borrow any Fruits Basket from volume 1-11, just tell me and I’d be glad (depending on who you are) to lend it to you!

(Aug 29 EDIT: Furuba V. 12 & 13 has already come out...and of course, I own them... blaugh and no...I do not rent out of state 3nodding
My official regular renters:
Miss BxzSweetie
Mr. *name* idiot...
Miss the_DML_cat...I would like my book back, please...)
*end of issue 5*
My thanks to:
Me
Mommy-chan
Daddy-chan
Cho-Cho-chan
Sandy-chan (RIP)
And all my friends and family that I’m not thinking about right now…
heart

...thats not all the TUNs out there...the TUN series goes up to 8 and then there are two specials:The Unnamed Newspaper With a Name That Dosen't Have a Name. Those will be put in later...cuz i can't keep this up.

PS: Please do not send in a submission for TUN because the series ended in February of 2006. Thanks xp

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