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And the obvious answer is..... |
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The problem is, and has always been, Smoke's story. Goddammit.
I have to muck my way through this so I can get Morion AWAY from Smoke.
Guardian character is cursed, I swear to gooooooodddd... gonk
*goes to bed after exhausting herself with crappy, horrible writing*
 GunsmokeGirl · Tue Mar 13, 2007 @ 08:14am · 3 Comments |
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Preemptively staving off the angry mobs with a twig.
...not that I'm certain there are any angry mobs, and there probably really aren't, but I figure it won't hurt just in case. With that in mind, I'm not bitching at anyone except the empty air here. I don't want anyone to think this is directed at them in particular, because it's really directed at myself.
To Myself: You ******** suck, you know that? Christ.
To everyone else: I'm sorry I've been mysteriously absent. I have this bothersome habit of being mysterious absent, and it's not something I mean to do. Between work and lack of internet and exhaustion and the occasional drawing, there's not much free time left in my life. Very little, in fact. It's a wonder my boyfriend doesn't try to strangle me for being aloof, distracted, or always asleep. He is incredibly tolerant.
I really, really wish I were a student again. Or even better, someone living with parents or other people who would support me in joblessness. But this is not the case. I have bills to pay that will never be paid. On bad days I wonder where I'm going to get meals. I'm living in poverty, but thank god I'm not leeching off the government. I hope I never fall so far as to have to do that.
Why am I writing this? I dunno. I guess I just feel like ranting. In case some people will want to know where I am and why I'm "abandoning" my Fa'e.
The only answer I have for this pretend question is that maybe, if you feel that I'm "abandoning" my Fa'e, you should come pay my ******** bills and work my job and participate in a relationship which is not soley based around two people merely co-existing in one apartment.
Again, I'm not ranting AT anyone.
In better terms, I'm making my standpoint known before it becomes an issue.
But on a happier note... thank you Krista, for always being there for me, and for always gently reminding me to get my a** back here. wink I appreciate your thoughts and friendship.
Alright, now back to your not-so-regularly-scheduled dragon angst.
/Smoke out
GunsmokeGirl · Tue Mar 13, 2007 @ 07:57am · 0 Comments |
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Alright, update time.
As many people know, I moved from Arizona to Arkansas in mid-September. I landed a job pretty early after moving, but it doesn't pay very well -- and it's only been within the past week or so that I've moved into an apartment with an actual heating system and finally had the internet turned on.
I'm depressed again, but I'm trying not to let it get to me too much. I expected it, in a way... it seems everytime I go through some life-altering event, I spend half a year feeling miserable and trying to pull myself out of it. It doesn't help that I have no money for the medications I usually take, so in a month or thereabouts I'm going to be going through withdrawals as well. Really not looking forward to that at all. sad
It's not all been miserable... I have a job working at a gaming store, which is great. The people I work with are fun, and usually the customers aren't so bad either. But it's a lot of hours and stress at this time of the year. Hopefully it'll become more relaxed after December.
Now that I have the internet again, I'm going to force myself to write more on Morion's story at least three times a week. Though it shouldn't take very long to be caught up to the point where I can start RPing again. *sigh* I'm sorry it's taken so long, I feel that I'm a horrible guardian. But I'm not giving up.
Just wanted you all to know what's up with me and why I'm not around so much right now.
GunsmokeGirl · Mon Dec 04, 2006 @ 04:57pm · 1 Comments |
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Just a pointless post to say hello. XD It's awesome to be back!!
I've spent the past four hours or so working on story and journal stuff for Morion, so I'm going to do this pointless quiz (which I stole from Kamiki's journal) to give myself a rest. M'whahaha!
CURRENT
CLOTHES: A t-shirt, underwear, and no pants. NO PANTS!!!
MOOD: Tired and a bit braindead. Happy though.
MUSIC: "Just Feel Better" ~ Santana and Steven Tyler
TASTE: Apple juice, yum.
MAKE-UP: I never wear the junk.
HAIR: Long and uncomfortably warm
ANNOYANCE: Too damn hot in here
SMELL: Apartment? o_O
FAVORITE ARTIST: Mucha for the win.
DESKTOP PICTURE: a WoW Burning Crusade picture. XD
FAVORITE GROUP: Aerosmith. FEAR MY 70's ROCK
BOOK YOU'RE READING: I'm bad, I haven't read something in so long... *sweat*
DVD IN PLAYER: Whut? The computer owns my soul.
COLOR OF TOENAILS: Bits of light pink left over from months ago.
REFRESHMENT: I want a frappucino.
WORRY: HOMG MORION *spazzes out*
LAST PERSON
TOUCHED: My boyfriend Joe. <3
YOU TALKED TO: Mouse
HUGGED: Joe
YOU INSTANT MESSAGED: Mouse and Neith
YOU YELLED AT: My old boss a few weeks ago, when he was on my case.
KISSED: Joe
FAVORITES
FOOD: Lasagna!!
DRINK: Chocolate milk
COLOR: Dark blue.
ALBUM: Anything by Aerosmith, Muse, Kansas... heh, I like a lot of music.
SHOES: Barefoot!
CANDY: Dark chocolate mars bars. x___x
ANIMAL: My kitties, Gypsy and Miss Adventure
TV SHOW: Don't have TV.
MOVIE: Pirates of the Caribbean all the way.
DANCE: DDR... and the chicken dance
SONG: The Eagles - "Hotel California"
VEGETABLE: I love salads with lots of fresh lettuce and mushrooms.
FRUIT: Strawberries and red grapes.
CARTOON: South Park FTW XD
ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING: Yes, I try to be.
OPEN-MINDED: Yep
ARROGANT: I'm usually pretty humble, I think, unless someone makes a personal attack against me. Then I can be very arrogant and aggressive.
INSECURE: Not so much anymore.
INTERESTING: Eh, depends on the person asking. Everyone's interesting to somebody.
RANDOM: Ohh yes. *TACO DANCE*
HUNGRY: Usually in the morning
SMART: I don't think so. XD
MOODY: Depends, is there PMS or stupid people involved?
CHILDISH: I hate childish behavior and try to avoid it at all costs. (Goofing off is different however.)
HARDWORKING: Yes.
ORGANIZED: Somewhat. Just don't look at my desk!
HEALTHY: I eat well, but I should exercise more. I do take care of myself though.
SHY: Online, not at all. IRL, very much.
DIFFICULT: I'm pretty easy to get along with unless I'm angry... then I'm a bear.
BORED EASILY: Yes, but I can also find ways to entertain myself.
MESSY: No, I hate messes! I have this subconscious urge to straighten up everything.
THIRSTY: Yessss
RESPONSIBLE: I try to be. >_>; Put it this way, I'm hardly ever irresponsible on purpose.
OBSESSED: I AM obsessed over Morion at the moment. XD
ANGRY: Nopers
SAD: Nopers, I am finally happy again!
HAPPY: Right now.. leaning that way.
HYPER: Not at the moment... I need caffeine.
TRUSTING: Overly so.
TALKATIVE: No, I'm the quiet type usually.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO?
KILL: Nobody!
SLAP: My ex's girlfriend. Gawd that would be awesome. XD
GET REALLY WASTED WITH: I hate drinking, no thanks.
GET HIGH WITH: *snicker* My friend Dave. He's so funny when he's high.
TALK TO OFFLINE: My family.
TALK TO ONLINE: Anyone of my Fa'e friends! *luffs on*
MY NAME IS: Erin
IN THE MORNING I AM: Bleary-eyed and uncompromising.
ALL I NEED IS: LOVE, BABY XD ...and a goddamn frappucino.
LOVE IS: ALL I NEED *shot*
I'M AFRAID OF: Dying without doing anything significant in any form or fashion... damn, that's deep ain't it?
I DREAM ABOUT: Having my own successful comic someday.
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX [ahem, or same, welcome to the 21st century]
WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: Body type. Thin, tall guys = WIN.
LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: My boyfriend
WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: My friend Dave, definately.
WHO MAKES YOU SMILE: Joe. ^_^ And Fa'e peoples.
GIVES YOU A FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU SEE THEM: ...Tschida. ._.
WHO DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: ...see above.
HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: Nobody, I guess.
IS EASIEST TO TALK TO: Chris and Dave.
HAVE YOU EVER?
FALLEN FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?: Nope.
BEEN IN LOVE?: Several times.
BEEN REJECTED?: Several times.
REJECTED SOMEONE?: Yes.
USED SOMEONE?: No.
BEEN CHEATED ON?: Yes.
DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET?: Of course.
LIED?: Yes. I have Pooka syndrome.
CURSED: oh ******** yeah.
EXTRAS
SMOKE CIGARETTES?: Ick, nope.
COULD YOU LIVE WITHOUT THE COMPUTER?: *twitches at the thought*
COLOR YOUR HAIR?: Yar, a couple times a year. I like being a redhead.
EVER GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER?: ...what is this "off" you speak of?
HABLA ESPANOL?: Si senor, uhh... a bit?
HOW MANY PEEPS ARE ON UR BUDDY LIST?: Not many... like 20. I keep a low profile. XD
DRINK ALCOHOL?: Rum on rare occasions, otherwise no.
LIKE WATCHING SUNRISES OR SUNSETS?: I love it.
WHAT HURTS MORE, PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL PAIN?: Emotional.
I KNOW: That I will be okay.
I WANT: To have a good job so I don't have to worry about paying rent anymore.
I HAVE: A strong desire to meet my Fa'e friends IRL.
I HATE: not being able to have cats in this apartment. sad
I FEAR: losing it all.
I HEAR: quiet sounds that most people ignore.
I SEARCH: for a place of my own.
I WONDER: If this survey is ever going to end!
I REGRET: All of 2005, pretty much
I LOVE: Myself, my friends, Morion. ^^ He's become a part of myself.
I ACHE: In my neck.
I CARE: About too many things sometimes, it seems.
I ALWAYS: want to be secretly admired.
I AM NOT: anyone's punching bag.
I DANCE: when Aerosmith comes on the radio.
I SING: in my truck, loudly and off-key.
I CRY: when I think about the past.
I DO NOT ALWAYS: like to be around people.
I FIGHT: when I've been wronged.
I WRITE: long and rambling, sometimes-senseless prose.
I WIN: AT TEH INTRAWEBZ
I LOSE: when I give up.
I CONFUSE: everyone, including myself.
I LISTEN: to my friends.
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: When I WANT to be found. ^_~
I NEED: to be loved. And to have some hot sexxin'. WELL IT'S TRUE. XD
I AM HAPPY: when I've had my happy pills.
I SHOULD HAVE: been working on more important things than this!!! >___>
GunsmokeGirl · Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 09:09am · 0 Comments |
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Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnsssssss.... |
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Sorry I haven't been around much in the past couple weeks... life has been demanding a lot of me, and I have had very little internet time. >_> Hopefully I can get caught up with journals and such soon, but it may be a while longer... depending on how the next couple days go.
(Have I mentioned how badly I hate my job? Yessir, I do hate my job... xp )
I didn't even get to do the Gaia trick-or-treat... that sucks. At least I was able to get myself zombiefied, though.
GunsmokeGirl · Tue Nov 02, 2004 @ 02:34am · 1 Comments |
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So, I was supposed to go to bed like an hour ago... but the muse commaneded me to write, and so I did. Chapter Two of Morion's current story is up. Warning: it seems quite angsty on the surface (and I suppose it is, all things considered), but I tried to give it some substance as well. Morion's people are bound by their Oaths, so Morion is going to have a bit of a "curse" now because of his broken oath to Purrpurr. Ouch. Won't be anything life-threatening, but it will have an impact on his life. The "watchers" will be revealed later. I'd love to have comments if anyone reads it... I don't do enough writing anymore, so I'd like to know if I'm doing things okay or not. sweatdrop Tomorrow I post a funny RP with Morion and Raeith (and Sophie!). But now, I sleep. x__x
GunsmokeGirl · Tue Oct 19, 2004 @ 07:47am · 1 Comments |
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Art puts me in my happy place! Huge thanks to Patchwerk, who's responsible for this loveliness. She did an utterly cute/psycho sketch of Smoke too, and I'll show off the finished pic when I get it.  And with Mori's favorite kirin... biggrin *twirls around* Chapter 2 will be posted sometime tomorrow in Morion's journal, provided my muse doesn't flee the scene before then.
GunsmokeGirl · Sat Oct 16, 2004 @ 05:16am · 4 Comments |
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