18/2/07
By now that morbid mood from Friday is almost clearing up, though not quite. This morning something odd happened in my head. I was in one of those fantasies I make up so often when I accidentally on purpose killed off the four best friends of the main character in a plane she had put them on. That wouldn't have been so bad, if just thinking about how she did the funeral hadn't made me cry.
It was the oddest thing that's happened in quite a while. Usually all my eyes do is water for no apparent reason, and here I was crying out a girl's pain that didn't even exist. It could be that I have a very vivid imagination, or it could be that I'm so very crazy I'll believe my own illusions. Whatever it is, my pillow is now soaking wet.
Have you ever lain in bed at night and just let your thoughts wander? Usually mine do things like continue on with whatever fantasy I'm concentrating on lately, or they might produce videos for whatever music happens to be drifting out of my stereo that is left on all night to keep the silence back, but every now and then I'm hit by some really extrodinary thoughts.
Like, have you ever wondered if the world is really turning? Don't you think it could just be the universe turning around the Earth while it waits for permission and the strengh of will to start turning with it? Do you think if that happened then time would just freeze, and we would live forever? Do you really think that thinking means you are.
You know the quote, 'I think, therefore I am'. How do we know an animal thinks when it does something? If someone stops thinking, then do they just dissapear with little pop, never to be seen again? If they start thinking again, then do they reapear with another pop and act as if nothing happened? Can anyone even follow what I'm talking here? Even I'm having trouble keeping up.
Do you ever just stare off into space for long periods of time without a single thought in your head, but aren't aware of the fact you've dropped off the face of the earth according to that little quote? I do. It's a little odd. If I get really into it then it becomes near impossible to get the gears going again. Now and then it just feels like my whole mind has shut down. Would it surprise you at all if I said this happened more often than not while watching TV? It doesn't matter what the show is, even if I really like it. My brain just sort of shuts down and refuses to work.
Speaking of that, there it goes. My brother and his friend are playing Grand Theft Auto, Vice City not five feet from where I'm sitting and I'm pretty sure they're cheating, though I can't figure out how. I'm also sure that if I sit here much longer I'm going to become completely mesmerised by the half decent graphics and pretty blood squirts when he blows people's heads off.
Oh, look, they've gone and finished a mission, wow. I think I'll do a little dance and sing the llama song. I think I'll loose my mind while I roll around laughing at the llama song.
here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck
llama llama
cheesecake
llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck
i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail
did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck
half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck
is this how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck
whee I love the llama song 3nodding
Ideth Community Member 
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