Suicide thought
Suicide thoughts flood my mind, so unstable I've become so inconsiderate to other peoples feelings so I’ve been called, I push myself await from you ; but am I wanting this I’d say the freedom wasn't worth it, it's to late now and it's not like I’m dead... not yet anyways but my time will come. Don't think to much of this I’m just thinking with words everything I write is said in my head first so then you know all of what I write on this paper is real, but I have to ask, if I wrote you a love note and made you smile with every word I wrote, what would you do? Would you ever consider running away with me? We know now that our love could never be expressed physically, and barely virtually now that it's happened. And I can't stop thinking about you wiring, this one, I’m crying, you could never tell though my tears are invisible to the to the ones that haven't felt like I have, pain from condescending talk of who I ought to be it might seem like nothing but it tore me apart, and I still walk with the scars in my head. I can say now that these scars wont stay mental for long I have all necessaries I need, I only but need to reach my break point, "suicide", the gate for all living things the point where my body becomes numb and I can't breathe when I wake up I got into these stages subconsciously usually when I’m sleeping and when I wake up I can't even fell my arms and legs with these suicidal thoughts running through my mind I will realize that that's when I can finally sink the blade without bloodshed pain ; but I have to say that it wont be pretty I never thought that I could reach this far into the chaos theory but then again it is my fault with the misunderstandings distress I sent out but then again everything always come back to me so I must take all of that into consideration when I open the wound.
