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I feel so lost right now, Just when I think I'm happy and everything is fine I notice things.

Juli rule number one-
One should not mess around with cameras when not fully dressed, they can make you see what you normally don't

.... like your thighs are sagging from fat loss

Maybe it's just I'm not use to seeing myself. I know I'm ugly so I oviod mirrors at all cost , but inside I'm a beautiful vixen that no one can stop. It's so confusing to feel one way then be faced with the horror of reality ,

That's why water ponds ripple to mess up whatever we're seeing for our own good. To keep us from our own destruction.

If I thought about it enough there wouldn't be one thing I didn't change about myself.
Nose too big
Boobs too small
Hair too short and ugly a color
skin to marred
nails too annoying
eyes don't work
smile looks like I'm going to bite someone's head off

that and I look like a dozen or so people who I'm not related to , very forgettable.

That's what I love about being online, on gaia
They can't just judge by the way I personally look,
they have to see somewhat of the personality before dismissing me as an antisocial slob not worth time, rhyme or reason.