I cannot count the number of times my parents have told me that. I never believed them.
Last night my sort-of-not-ex-but-thinking-about-it boyfriend turned up on the doorstep looking very sheepish. In one moment proving that everything that my parents ever told me was probably right.
Pliny the Elder
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
As you can imagine, given that he has been ignoring me totally for the last 10 days I was a little surprised. I'll be honest, I was expecting him to just pack up his stuff and go, but he didn't. He wanted to talk.
I wanted to cry.
In the last 10 days I've been to hell and back with this one, I'd never had my heart broken quite like that before. The main problem was that long before my boyfriend was my boyfriend he was my friend. That has never happened before. We did everything together and had such a good time while we were doing it. So, on top of losing my boyfriend when he left I'd lost my best friend too.
For a few days I was so upset that I couldn't even face leaving my flat. I didn't know where I was going to find the strength to get back up and start again. No one has ever managed to hurt me like that before, I honestly didn't know if I'd be brave enough to start all over.
Corra Harris
The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.
So I did the bravest thing I could think of.
I told him I wouldn't put up with being messed about.
Not quite what he was expecting I think. We had a long chat though and during the hours that we spent talking, properly talking about what was wrong, I discovered a fundamental difference between me and my sort-of-not-ex-but-thinking-about-it boyfriend.
<center>
</center>Half empty or half full?
I'm a half-full kind of person normally. He's a half-empty.
I can see the potential in the future; he can see the problems in the past. I know what I would like to happen; he knows what he didn't like that happened before.
So now I just have to make him see what he's given up. Make him remember what it was that he wanted. The only way to do that is to give him what he wants but on my terms. That means playing him at his own game and at the same time not playing at all.
Alan Kay
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
I'm not doing this to try and win back someone who doesn't want me, I know that there's no way of changing someone's mind if it's been made up. At the end of the day you can't make someone love you if they don't. But as a bouncy-backy optimistic pixie all I have to keep me going are my hopes and dreams, all I have to work with are my good memories and my intuition. I know that he still loves me and loves spending time with me, but he can't see how a relationship could work between us. I have no idea what his reasoning is for that and he can't explain it to me. The outcome is that I have to just get on with being me and hope that he sees what he's missing.
So now, subversive tactics are in order. Parents, you were SOOOOO right.
