I woke up this morning in contemplative mood, despite the fact that I had ants crawling all over me and I could hardly speak. I curled up and read, let my mind wander while I was half paying attention to the book. I love pondering, especially when I've first woken up and my brains half fuzzy.
I'm no longer afraid of being a coward- does that even make sense, that I was afraid of being afraid? I don't have anyone to let down anymore, no life-and-death situation riding on my shoulders. I don't even miss it anymore, not even a slight twinge of regret on how I handled everything. I made my choices, everyone lived, and life's gone on and passed me by. Time for me to play catch up. No way I'm getting left behind by people I'm not even sure I respect anymore.
What I'm discovering that I really dislike/fear is not being taken seriously. My opinion matters, dammit, despite my upbringing and the paths I've taken. I'm a smart, capable person, and I'm not junk.
I'm gonna go drink some tea now and soothe my poor throat.
Hey Peanut Community Member 
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