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well, the person who entered my life and made everything work is gone now... she was absolutely perfect in every way and i let her go. she was the only thing holding my life together. when she left me, i had no real reason to do anything anymore. i quit school (i was failing already, but still trying), stopped actually trying hard at work, stopped cooking, and even quit the diet i had gone on so i could lose some weight for her so i wasn't quite as much of a fat disgusting slob. i hardly do anything other than sit here and go to work, i am a worthless failure of a human being and i deserve nothing more than death. she was so perfect... and i guess she realized that she was too good for me. i just wish she would have realized it sooner so i wouldn't have put so much of my life into her. i have nothing left of what i once was.