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Why? Sometimes it hurts so much I want to die. It's that feeling I felt back then. At that time when I wasn't happy. It hurts. It hurts right now. Why? I just wish he'd call me. I have to know what's wrong. I wish I knew if he was trying. Is he sleeping? Is the phone on vibrate? Is someone using it? Is it dead? Are they all dead? Is he having a headache? What's he doing? Oh God make this pain stop! Please! Please. . . I'm begging you. . . Let the phone ring. Let it be him. Please make him call me now. I need him. Now. . . PLEASE! OH! I hate this feeling! I hate it! I HATE IT! Why? Why? Why do I have to be in love with him? Why now? Why am I so addicted to him? What is this damn spell that he has over me!? Why can't I stop it!? Why does it have to be this way everytime I can't talk to him!? I can't sleep without talking to him. Not when I'm like this. Damn! The only way I'm going to get sleep if if I get mad. I don't want to get mad. I always feel guilty afterwards. I'm sad. I want to cry. . . but I don't want to. I HATE THIS! Since when--! How the hell did I let myself get like this!? I can't believe I'm going crazy over some guy! I don't care if he's the man that I love! I don't need this bulls--t!!! I was perfectly fine with being alone before I met him! I was damned near happy! Then he came into my life makiing me second guess everything. I thought I had my lifestyle figured out and then he turned everything upside down and turned me into some damn emo girl. . . . But I still love him with all my heart. Damn, I'm crying. I miss you so much. Please call me. . . I'm beging you. Please don't let me cry myself to sleep. At least let me know that you're alright. Just give me something to easy my mind. Please . . .