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Today, im like on my lowest level of self-esteem. Its like people on the computer, out side or at home can flip on me and don't mean it because if misunderstanding...and i'd feel like i deserve it..u kno what being nice doesn't pay off at all. all my life in the years that i've lived i've been takin advantage of and mstreated, then when i react because of it being bottled up 4 so long its like people look at me as im taking things too seriously. No one understands me at least thats what i feel, not even my boyfriend. it felt like it was always me causing problems and it took him a year 2 finnally understand me and y im hurt all this time. Now im back with him at my lowest state cuz i cried like a baby and no one know my pain. i appreciate him coming 2 an understanding with me but since i cried my heart out, i feel like im completely nothing crying (all i feel like still doing is crying) i feel like im a lil too depressed 2 do any thing, stuff i had 2 do 2 benifit me i had 2 force my self 2 do. *sighs* Hopefully things will get better 4 me even tho i can hardly c that...(yes im that depressed) crying