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my life, my words, my fault...
i felt like showing yall a poem tht i wrote ages a go comments would b loved xd


Trip wire

Standing on a trip wire but not falling to my death.
Just standing on a trip wire walking to and fro,
Walking on a trip wire digging in too deep.
Cutting way too deep,

Walking on a trip wire cutting way to deep,
Blood dripping slowly onto bones below.
Blood seeping from my wounds,
Dripping onto bones below.

On that trip wire so sharp,
Cutting deep down.
Walking slowly trying to not feel the pain.
Blood seeping from wounds a many,

Dripping into depths below onto bones,
So long gone.
Then all of a sudden I look below.
Looking as far as I can see.

Death, bones, blood all around.
Standing on a trip wire,
Just standing on that trip wire looking round.
Standing still on that trip wire.

Pain almost totally forgotten,
Blood still seeping,
From the seemingly never ending supply.
Bones below growing ever more red.

The trip wire digging deeper still.
Looking round to distant areas on the horizon.
Seeing others just like me,
Walking on their own trip wires.
One falls off.

I look away knowing the inevitable,
As the person falls I hear the screams of many all at once.
I carry on walking.
Hoping that someday soon,

I will see the end of this,
Seemingly never ending life of torture.


suffer in silence
Community Member
suffer in silence
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  • User Comments: [10]
    awwwwwwwwww wow lovz the poem it rocks.....

    comment flyingconker · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 01:32pm
    wow cool poem... woot woot wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo rofl rofl rofl

    comment Delta64 · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 03:06pm
    ur laughing at pain...

    comment suffer in silence · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 03:08pm
    u gave me a copy of that in yr 10

    comment Hatsuharu_Sohma19 · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 07:25pm
    any way..

    criticism!!

    1.you say bones, blood, deeper way too much.

    2. i get bored halfway thru

    3. you repeat yourself way too many times also eg
    "Death, bones, blood all around.
    Standing on a trip wire,
    Just standing on that trip wire looking round.
    Standing still on that trip wire."

    and...i cant be arsed

    comment Hatsuharu_Sohma19 · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 07:29pm
    yeah thanks riz i did write this like 3 years ago so meh
    ill do some more soon

    comment suffer in silence · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 09:28pm
    What is the trip wire? Life maybe? It does use the phrase "trip wire" alot though

    comment Dark Neo Vamp · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 10:16pm
    But it doesn't rhyme. sad

    comment Thank God lm an Atheist · Community Member · Wed Sep 13, 2006 @ 11:51pm
    Good mrgreen , just say trip wire less sweatdrop .

    comment trigunmaximum · Community Member · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 12:51am
    Very nice*nods*It is beautiful choice of words to use

    comment L Lawliet79 · Community Member · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 01:41am
    User Comments: [10]

     
     
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