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Been a while since the last entry. I just bought one of my dream rifles after a motorcycle deal went south. Too many red flags.

I'm back together again with the most beautiful woman in the world. It's still rocky, as we navigate a life together after all the issues. It's going well though, much better than our past attempts. I lover her and have always wanted the best for her. I had a lot of insecurities that I never dealt with because I never needed to. I'd be alone up to this point. I never needed to reassure anyone but myself. Dealing with childhood trauma and cutting off my own mother. Dealing with the stress of knowing I never had a normal childhood. An abusive household where no one gave a s**t about me. It's all being washed away because I was able to meet someone that cared about me and my feelings. I never thought it would happen to be honest. I'd been content on being alone. It was my safe space. My way of coping with what happened never allowing myself to be hurt again. As long as I can control the circumstances. But that's no way to live. I see that now. I am my own god, I will make my own destiny. I will walk that path her hand in hand and create a better future for the both of us. heart