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@!#$^**%$*^*)(& jesus!!!!!!! i hate her so god damn much. she should die. she really should. i have major issues with her. like every day i vow to myself that one of these days she will die. and by my hands.
she is such a b***h. i can't stand up to her or else she will smack me and hard and if i hit her back i get in trouble for it all. I HATE MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!
like yesterday she said that if i told on her she would tell my parents about me cutting. i really don't want them to know b/c i am afriad of what they would say. one time my mom told me that if i were ever to cut myself she would beat the crap out of me and i am so ******** scared that she will. and the thought scares me to death.
and today she told on me for having the door closed and my dad bitched at me for it. WTF?!?! it wasn't hurting him. and it wasn't hurting anyone else so what the hell? but no i can't stand up to my dad either b/c i am afriad he will beat the shiut outta me to.
i stood up to my mom once and she got pissed at me but my older sister can stand up to her iwthout getting in trouble but i can't? and that same day my older sister went up to me and said
"Let me do the standing up. i am so much better at than you." and i was uber pissed.
and yesterday i had a depression attack. i swore i was about to cry my eyes out. why is b/c shannon (older sis) kept saying that cutting myself was that stupidest thing i had ever done and she wouldn't listen to me and i was trying to explain to her that it was a stress reliever and she wouldn't even let me tell her why i did that. she would just look at the flaws in my opinion that involved ME (the one who knows me best is me) and i just wanted to start crying and i almost did.
 heavens_akki · Tue Aug 15, 2006 @ 03:39am · 2 Comments |
