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this is where i'm safe...not hated...not loved..safe from real emotions...safe to be phony and pretend to be happy.....
so for now i'll humer myself a little longer...pretending to be happy..and that everything is allright...even though it hasn't been for so long...i thought i could fix it....i felt nothing and wanted to fix it...i would welcome the numbness now compared to this.....not guilt....maybe some....but just sadness. and regret that i was so shure that everything was alright..why didn't you tell me?...the only thing left to do now for me is to disapear..but even then...somthings there to stop me...can't you see? i'm in the coner and i walked there...i chose to do two things that put me there....so don't help ,don't protect me. avoiding is my choice and feeling is somthing i want to never do again....so let me be...leave me alone in my corner...and let me hide, safe away from emotions...let me be ..."happy"
 Never Ask Dante · Sat Aug 12, 2006 @ 03:06pm · 2 Comments |
