Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

i told him i just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know what happened after that b/c then he got off.

I get the feeling he isn't going to talk to me for a while or something. All i know is i couldn't go against my morals for him. It wasn't right. Just like i refuse to have sex with a man before i am married. I shall stick with that until i am married.

I just wish he would understand it all. He doesn't understand how much i hurt b/c of this. How much i want to cry and hurt myself for it. He doesn't understand it.

-bangs head against desk and sighs- it hurts so much that i wish to cry but i won't. i don't deserve him and i know it. I don't deserve anyone. all i do is hurt and that's the thruth. i remember liking someone else while i was dating someone and now that i think about it the guy was a great guy i don't think...i don't think i will ever be ready to go out with someoen.

I guess i'm just not emotionally ready.