Dear Suzu
-Sigh- Another one? What the hell am I doing? But I thought of this and I figured you deserved a explination because I never said a word to anyone.
Yes I am different, but this isnt my fault. I changed since the s**t started to hit the fan with my family. And after everything exploded in my face you were the only one I cared about. Then they came back and everytime I look at Max or Camerons eyes they are empty. I couldnt fix anything. I cant talk to Max like we used to anymore.Cameron is a insenitive little brat. Infact my family sees a completly different side of me. The quiet and respectful girl who does anything you ask. Now i know what your thinking right? Why the hell is she saying this now?
Thats the reason why im not who I was anymore. I pretty much threw my innocence on the floor. I figured that I can do everything by myself. I hid it from you. I hid it from everyone really. Im the same as a liar. But im not completely different. I was happy up untill last night. Im just not as innocent as I once was.
Now my turn to cheat eh? Ha I didnt think that ethier. I thought your friends wouldnt bother me a single bit. Then at your birthday you couldnt decide who to swing next to me or Def and the only thing that went through my mind was Are you f--king kidding me? I was with her longer. I knew her longer. She is the only one I love. She deserves me and not you. Because Im disguesting like that.
And I didnt turn into a masochrist around you. I was mad fun of for a long time remember? That took its toll as well. Everything isnt your fault like it seems. But the whole pawn issue. When we started to get close you chose Lauren over me. Then when she was out of the picture the Tsu's (who I do love dearly -sweat-) showed up.
And highschool -sigh- Where I am at noone judged me because of my religon, my personality, my body, or anything else. They just welcomed me with open arms. We never had one fight for the whole year. And everyone seemed to care for me. I figured you never experienced this ethier. So I pulled on your arm to come. I was once again out of line. Now before you go on and said "Oh! But the accept me too!" Understand something. They never accepted me.
When your in second grade and kids look at you and they scream "Your going to hell! Your going to hell!" You feel out of line. Then the lesbian rumors went around. Then the whole Bailey and Racheal stuff their bras ordeal. They never shut up about anything. I was never clean. Thats why I walked out of that school without a single tear dripping down my face. I hate them! I truley hate them! Even the teachers looked at me like I was unclean.
Alright enough bashing of the religon. But I love you so much. Infact today was really freaking boring! I saw gameplay of the new Elder scrolls game and I had noone to fangirl to about it because I dont do that to the rest of my friends. Your special to me. And infact you are my sanity Dx Without fangirling I well die xD And not only that today went by soo long. I expected it to be like 6:00 and I looked at the clock and it was only 2:56 (I wanted it to be six sooo bad I was going to go beg my dad for Skyrim because he told me hes not buying it and im going to have to be a big girl and preorder it myself Dx) I think im using this as a excuse to talk to you o_o s**t I lost the damn game! -epic fail-
Uhm that there is proof I still love you. But while I love you and earn to be loved by you I wait for you to be like Claude and Crush my skull when im begging for my life. and this is a long a** letter o_o
Wanna see the amazingness ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMNh2JfMJio
Yes I know hes a geek but hes a freaking amazing geek! and I know this is rude but the Giant (The thing walking around with the mamonth elephant things) Reminds me of your daaaad ;D
View User's Journal
;3
Akiko loves you..!
 |
Akiko loves you..!